Driving to the city last night we passed about a dozen mini-malls along the way. Strip malls right along the road. Looking out the window it occurred to me that at least half of these shopping areas featured a large mattress store.
I've been married almost 47 years and began to think about just how often we'd purchased a new mattress and how many people in Milwaukee or in the US or the world for that matter are buying new mattresses on a regular basis. Buying them frequently enough for these large stores to pay their rent, pay their employees and make a decent profit.
Since we took two years out to live on a boat and sold everything, including the mattress we had at the time, the way I add it up I think we may be on our forth mattress. Maybe our third. I don't know if that's typical?? But somehow buying 3 or 4 mattresses over a 47 year period doesn't seem to justify all the stores that specialize in this item alone. Never mind the fact that you can buy a new mattress at most furniture stores, big box stores and right off the truck delivered from North Carolina. I googled "how long to keep a mattress" and got some guidelines. No hard and fast rules.
Maybe I better go check ours. It still seems comfortable and we do rotate it once in a while. But still…it's probably about 8 years old now. Hmmmmm…….ah well, we sleep at night. I think we'll keep it for a while and just keep driving past all those specialty stores.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Friday, December 26, 2014
Just Not Enough……
OK so our Christmas celebration is over. Build up….build up….build up…then "crash". Amazing how each year the times passes so quickly…..the months fly by…. the count down to December 25th begins…..and then suddenly it's over.
Dave and I had fun celebrating with a sleep-over with our daughter, son-in-law and their two boys here in Wisconsin. It was a grey Christmas….not a snowflake in sight. But Meg and Mike's house was warm and inviting, the tree was beautiful and Christmas Eve meal delicious. The evening hours "dragged" until the boys were sleepy…..lights were turned out and everyone was snug in their beds.
And then Christmas morning - yes Evan and Zach….Santa DID find the house! Packages, paper, ribbons, carols on the radio, dogs with really squeaky toys, activity, more food and more fun. It was a lovely time to be together.
But our son and family celebrated in Washington State, my sister and family are skiing out West, my brother-in-law and family gathered in New Hampshire. Our little family is spread far and wide so we never get to celebrate this holiday together.
And as much fun as we had with our Wisconsin crew…..I guess it just isn't "enough". We wanted to be close enough to give everyone a holiday hug. To say,"I love you" in person…. share a meal, open a thoughtful gift.
Ah well….we were close in heart, and connected by telephone. I guess that will have to do. Merry Christmas to all the special and much-loved members of our family…..may we all find ways to spend time together in 2015 in spite of the distances involved.
Dave and I had fun celebrating with a sleep-over with our daughter, son-in-law and their two boys here in Wisconsin. It was a grey Christmas….not a snowflake in sight. But Meg and Mike's house was warm and inviting, the tree was beautiful and Christmas Eve meal delicious. The evening hours "dragged" until the boys were sleepy…..lights were turned out and everyone was snug in their beds.
And then Christmas morning - yes Evan and Zach….Santa DID find the house! Packages, paper, ribbons, carols on the radio, dogs with really squeaky toys, activity, more food and more fun. It was a lovely time to be together.
But our son and family celebrated in Washington State, my sister and family are skiing out West, my brother-in-law and family gathered in New Hampshire. Our little family is spread far and wide so we never get to celebrate this holiday together.
And as much fun as we had with our Wisconsin crew…..I guess it just isn't "enough". We wanted to be close enough to give everyone a holiday hug. To say,"I love you" in person…. share a meal, open a thoughtful gift.
Ah well….we were close in heart, and connected by telephone. I guess that will have to do. Merry Christmas to all the special and much-loved members of our family…..may we all find ways to spend time together in 2015 in spite of the distances involved.
Friday, December 19, 2014
Someone Else Said it Best….
Just after I posted my last entry I was looking at my Facebook page. A special friend from Maryland posted the following quote:
"Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place." - Rumi
It was the timing of her post that sort of caught me by surprise….and reading it helped. Memories heal - thank you dear friend.
:-)
Just Where Did THAT Come From?
Grief is a funny thing - sometimes it smacks you in the face when you least expect it.
It's another gray day here in Wisconsin - I don't think we've seen the sun in more than a week. But it's also a very busy time of year and the holiday decorations around the condo brighten things up quite a bit.
Dave and I had a busy morning down at UWM in Milwaukee. Then back home for lunch. Then time to walk Fenway. Changed into my jeans and walking shoes. Put Fenway in his sweater and attached his leash. Made sure I had a plastic bag in my coat pocket. Grabbed my keys and off we went.
My parka used to belong to my mother-in-law….I helped her pick it out when she visited about a year before she died. It's a nice jacket and I like it. Keeps me warm and feels sort of like a "hug".
Anyway - I wasn't thinking about that as I walked. Just watching Fenway's little legs pacing down the path and planning a quilt that is beginning to form in the back of my brain. (Working with colorful fabric also helps to ward off the winter grays!) Thinking about fabric made me remember that I still have some remnants of material from my mother-in-law's beautiful curtains. When she died I brought them home and used some of the yardage to make three quilts for her New England grandchildren. They turned out beautifully and I look forward to working with the rest of the fabric.
That made me remember a little quilt I made out of one of my mom's kitchen table cloths after she died. It sits folded on top of the cabinet in our bedroom and I see a glimpse of it every day.
Suddenly I was "missing moms" and my eyes were very, very damp. Lump in the throat. Holiday time coming and they both so loved to celebrate. It's been several years since our moms died….but funny, sometimes it just seems like it was yesterday. And the sadness hits…..just for a few moments….but it hits just the same.
It's another gray day here in Wisconsin - I don't think we've seen the sun in more than a week. But it's also a very busy time of year and the holiday decorations around the condo brighten things up quite a bit.
Dave and I had a busy morning down at UWM in Milwaukee. Then back home for lunch. Then time to walk Fenway. Changed into my jeans and walking shoes. Put Fenway in his sweater and attached his leash. Made sure I had a plastic bag in my coat pocket. Grabbed my keys and off we went.
My parka used to belong to my mother-in-law….I helped her pick it out when she visited about a year before she died. It's a nice jacket and I like it. Keeps me warm and feels sort of like a "hug".
Anyway - I wasn't thinking about that as I walked. Just watching Fenway's little legs pacing down the path and planning a quilt that is beginning to form in the back of my brain. (Working with colorful fabric also helps to ward off the winter grays!) Thinking about fabric made me remember that I still have some remnants of material from my mother-in-law's beautiful curtains. When she died I brought them home and used some of the yardage to make three quilts for her New England grandchildren. They turned out beautifully and I look forward to working with the rest of the fabric.
That made me remember a little quilt I made out of one of my mom's kitchen table cloths after she died. It sits folded on top of the cabinet in our bedroom and I see a glimpse of it every day.
Suddenly I was "missing moms" and my eyes were very, very damp. Lump in the throat. Holiday time coming and they both so loved to celebrate. It's been several years since our moms died….but funny, sometimes it just seems like it was yesterday. And the sadness hits…..just for a few moments….but it hits just the same.
Monday, December 15, 2014
OK - One More Holiday Memory - Maybe the Last??
And after the little tree is decorated, the Santa Claus collection distributed, the gingerbread house finished there is one other happy holiday decoration that greets me every morning.
Megan created this Christmas angel when she was in third grade. It's in an inexpensive frame but it sparkles just the same. In one house it hung above the kitchen fireplace, in another it was over my stove. Here in the condo it fits perfectly over the kitchen sink.
So my happy little pink Christmas angel smiles at me in the morning when I fill the coffee pot, in the afternoon when I load the dishwasher and during dinner prep and last thing at night when we turn off the lights. I love her.
Megan created this Christmas angel when she was in third grade. It's in an inexpensive frame but it sparkles just the same. In one house it hung above the kitchen fireplace, in another it was over my stove. Here in the condo it fits perfectly over the kitchen sink.
So my happy little pink Christmas angel smiles at me in the morning when I fill the coffee pot, in the afternoon when I load the dishwasher and during dinner prep and last thing at night when we turn off the lights. I love her.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
I'm Not Answering the Phone….
It's happened again and it started with a short text stating "We can't meet for lunch. I am in the hospital."
This short note was from a very good friend. He's having surgery tomorrow. To complicate matters he contracted CDIF while in the hospital, has been on intravenous antibiotic for a week hoping to avoid the surgery and while the doctors were running tests they informed him that he has an unusual form of lymphoma too.
What a crap week.
Another good friend just had one kidney removed because of a cancerous tumor. His surgery went very well and he's well on the road to recovery. Thankfully symptoms brought him to a hospital while the tumor was contained and he can live very nicely with one kidney.
I remember, years ago, going for my annual physical and talking to my doctor in Delaware about my chances for breast cancer. My mother had just had a mastectomy but I think she was in her 70's when she had the operation. My doctor's blunt assessment was, "You are a woman. You have breasts. If you live long enough you will have breast cancer. Your mother's surgery, since it happened when she was a senior citizen, does not increase your risk." Nice.
My friends say,"We are at that age…..the age when friends start experiencing really difficult physical challenges." I don't want to be at "that age". I don't want our friend to have to go through what he has to go through. To have to undergo surgery. And then start with chemo or radiation or whatever the doctors decide will address the lymphoma. Surgery first….then treatment for cancer. What a great winter season he will have.
But he is a strong man, with a loving wife and they have a strong marriage. They have their adult children around to offer love and support. They have a wide group of caring friends who will be there to provide shoulders to cry on and arms to encircle them. As his wife says, "We will get through this!"
But crap…..just crap.
This short note was from a very good friend. He's having surgery tomorrow. To complicate matters he contracted CDIF while in the hospital, has been on intravenous antibiotic for a week hoping to avoid the surgery and while the doctors were running tests they informed him that he has an unusual form of lymphoma too.
What a crap week.
Another good friend just had one kidney removed because of a cancerous tumor. His surgery went very well and he's well on the road to recovery. Thankfully symptoms brought him to a hospital while the tumor was contained and he can live very nicely with one kidney.
I remember, years ago, going for my annual physical and talking to my doctor in Delaware about my chances for breast cancer. My mother had just had a mastectomy but I think she was in her 70's when she had the operation. My doctor's blunt assessment was, "You are a woman. You have breasts. If you live long enough you will have breast cancer. Your mother's surgery, since it happened when she was a senior citizen, does not increase your risk." Nice.
My friends say,"We are at that age…..the age when friends start experiencing really difficult physical challenges." I don't want to be at "that age". I don't want our friend to have to go through what he has to go through. To have to undergo surgery. And then start with chemo or radiation or whatever the doctors decide will address the lymphoma. Surgery first….then treatment for cancer. What a great winter season he will have.
But he is a strong man, with a loving wife and they have a strong marriage. They have their adult children around to offer love and support. They have a wide group of caring friends who will be there to provide shoulders to cry on and arms to encircle them. As his wife says, "We will get through this!"
But crap…..just crap.
Saturday, December 13, 2014
The Best Book?
I love to read - always have. And I love my monthly book club discussions. And I love it when someone recommends a good book.
When I saw my sister at Thanksgiving she loaned me All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr. She said it was one of the best books ever and one where she would not have changed a single sentence. Coming from Susan this is a major recommendation.
I just finished it. And I know it's a book that will stay with me for a long time. With 530 pages it's obvious I can't sum it up in just a couple of sentences. But the story starts at the beginning of World War II and ends in 1974. Two of the main characters are a young blind girl living with her father in Paris, and a young German orphan conscripted into Hitler's army. And radio plays a third important character in the novel.
Once a bookseller at Barnes and Noble told members of my book club to always discuss a book's title and always discuss the first sentence. So I do that in my mind even if the book is not one we've chosen for our meetings.
I kept thinking about the title of this book as I read chapter after chapter. There seem to be so many levels of light - seen and unseen. But it was on page 529 where "my" explanation jumped off the page.
It's a long paragraph but part of it says: "And is it so hard to believe that souls might also travel those paths? That her father and Etienne and Madame Manec and the German boy named Werner Pfenning might harry the sky in flocks, like egrets, like terns, like starlings? That great shuttles of souls might fly about, faded but audible if you listen closely enough? They flow above the chimneys, ride the sidewalks, slip through your jacket and shirt and breastbone and lungs, and pass out through the other side, the air a library and the record of every life lived, every sentence spoken, every word transmitted all still reverberating within it."
Those sentences pretty much sum up my feelings about the "after"…. and how every person we've ever met, every loved one we've ever lost, every friend near and far, every interaction with others shapes who we are. And my "they" brush against me even after death. The energy, the memory, their light is out there…..a part of the current of life. At least for me.
I loved this book - and I'm now getting out of my pajamas and heading to the library to see what else I can find by Anthoy Doerr.
When I saw my sister at Thanksgiving she loaned me All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr. She said it was one of the best books ever and one where she would not have changed a single sentence. Coming from Susan this is a major recommendation.
I just finished it. And I know it's a book that will stay with me for a long time. With 530 pages it's obvious I can't sum it up in just a couple of sentences. But the story starts at the beginning of World War II and ends in 1974. Two of the main characters are a young blind girl living with her father in Paris, and a young German orphan conscripted into Hitler's army. And radio plays a third important character in the novel.
Once a bookseller at Barnes and Noble told members of my book club to always discuss a book's title and always discuss the first sentence. So I do that in my mind even if the book is not one we've chosen for our meetings.
I kept thinking about the title of this book as I read chapter after chapter. There seem to be so many levels of light - seen and unseen. But it was on page 529 where "my" explanation jumped off the page.
It's a long paragraph but part of it says: "And is it so hard to believe that souls might also travel those paths? That her father and Etienne and Madame Manec and the German boy named Werner Pfenning might harry the sky in flocks, like egrets, like terns, like starlings? That great shuttles of souls might fly about, faded but audible if you listen closely enough? They flow above the chimneys, ride the sidewalks, slip through your jacket and shirt and breastbone and lungs, and pass out through the other side, the air a library and the record of every life lived, every sentence spoken, every word transmitted all still reverberating within it."
Those sentences pretty much sum up my feelings about the "after"…. and how every person we've ever met, every loved one we've ever lost, every friend near and far, every interaction with others shapes who we are. And my "they" brush against me even after death. The energy, the memory, their light is out there…..a part of the current of life. At least for me.
I loved this book - and I'm now getting out of my pajamas and heading to the library to see what else I can find by Anthoy Doerr.
Friday, December 12, 2014
Annual Pop Pop Project…….Enjoying it While We Can
Several years ago Dave started making gingerbread houses with our two youngest grandsons. They live close enough to enjoy the activity and look forward to it every year …. so far!
Dave buys a kit and assembles the house before the boys arrive - then they are in charge of the decorating. Candy, candy, candy…what's not to like! The fact that we "hide" some kind of surprise inside the house seems to add to the fun.
Their holiday tradition is to take the gingerbread house home with them where it decorates their kitchen. Until December 26th when house meets hammer and they can then enjoy pieces of gingerbread, the candy, the icing and whatever is hidden inside.
So far it's been fun for them and I know Dave really looks forward to the December time with Evan and Zach. But when I look at this year's pictures I'm beginning to think they may be "outgrowing" this tradition. :-(
Then again….maybe if we continue to figure out fun surprises for the inside….they will "humor" Pop Pop for a few more years. Happy Holidays special Wisconsin grandsons - you help make the season bright!
Dave buys a kit and assembles the house before the boys arrive - then they are in charge of the decorating. Candy, candy, candy…what's not to like! The fact that we "hide" some kind of surprise inside the house seems to add to the fun.
Their holiday tradition is to take the gingerbread house home with them where it decorates their kitchen. Until December 26th when house meets hammer and they can then enjoy pieces of gingerbread, the candy, the icing and whatever is hidden inside.
So far it's been fun for them and I know Dave really looks forward to the December time with Evan and Zach. But when I look at this year's pictures I'm beginning to think they may be "outgrowing" this tradition. :-(
Then again….maybe if we continue to figure out fun surprises for the inside….they will "humor" Pop Pop for a few more years. Happy Holidays special Wisconsin grandsons - you help make the season bright!
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Count Down to Santa……..
It's mid December and the condo is decorated, gifts are wrapped and everyone is in a waiting "mode"….including Fenway.
While he usually shreds any kind of stuffed toys…..he somehow seems to understand that this stuffed toy deserves respect. He cuddles up but doesn't do anything naughty!
While he usually shreds any kind of stuffed toys…..he somehow seems to understand that this stuffed toy deserves respect. He cuddles up but doesn't do anything naughty!
The Gift that Keeps on Giving…
We were living in Freeport, Illinois at the time. Todd was in junior high school….or maybe a freshman. Our neighbor had a wood shop in his basement and enjoyed making all kinds of things.
Todd disappeared for a few hours at a time during the weeks prior to Christmas. And one day he came home with a gift for us.
Todd, with a little help from our friend, made each of the characters for the creche - it's simple and that's just how it should be. We loved it then and we take it out each year, remembering how proud he was of his gift and how perfectly it adds to our holiday decor.
So the set comes out of its box in early December and with it come the memories.
Todd disappeared for a few hours at a time during the weeks prior to Christmas. And one day he came home with a gift for us.
Todd, with a little help from our friend, made each of the characters for the creche - it's simple and that's just how it should be. We loved it then and we take it out each year, remembering how proud he was of his gift and how perfectly it adds to our holiday decor.
So the set comes out of its box in early December and with it come the memories.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
A Touch of Red……
I started collecting Santas many years ago. It's not a very unique collection - lots of people gather Santas for the holidays. Dave and I had fun finding different shapes, sizes and personalities. At one point we had well over 100.
Then we moved onto the boat and I only kept the best of the best. Once we came back to being "dirt dwellers" I started again…..adding just a touch of red to our decor starting in early December. It's just a happy thing to do as the days outside get shorter. The leaves are off the trees and everything in the mid-west just looks grey and brown. With a little red the inside of our house/condo gets a little brighter.
And decorating our new space for the first time this holiday season it's fun to put our familiar Santas in new places and group them in slightly different arrangements. They all seem new again. They sit on the dining room table, on the fireplace mantel. They perch on a book case and surround the television. They are happily bringing color to all corners of our condo.
Happy Holidays - Happy Santas!
Then we moved onto the boat and I only kept the best of the best. Once we came back to being "dirt dwellers" I started again…..adding just a touch of red to our decor starting in early December. It's just a happy thing to do as the days outside get shorter. The leaves are off the trees and everything in the mid-west just looks grey and brown. With a little red the inside of our house/condo gets a little brighter.
And decorating our new space for the first time this holiday season it's fun to put our familiar Santas in new places and group them in slightly different arrangements. They all seem new again. They sit on the dining room table, on the fireplace mantel. They perch on a book case and surround the television. They are happily bringing color to all corners of our condo.
Happy Holidays - Happy Santas!
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Trying to "Unsubscribe"….
When email was "invented" I loved it! Couldn't wait to get to my mailbox and connect with friends and family spread all over the country. And at work - it was a tool that helped me all day, every day!
Now that I'm retired I still enjoy checking email in the morning….but I don't hear from nearly as many friends. I guess most of the civilized world has moved on to Twitter or Instagram or whatever. Shorter messages??? Easier ways to spread videos??? I don't know because I'm still stuck on email.
And I do still love it. I'll hear from a friend in Massachusetts or North Carolina. Sometimes some friends who live (at least part of the year) in Florida and family in Washington State. My email connections are in Indiana and Illinois…and some right down in Milwaukee.
Then there are the dozens of others. My new friends at Home Depot, Sailrite, Wayfair, various insurance agencies and National Geographic. Almost daily emails from Fidelity Investments, Connecting Threads and Travelocity etc. etc.
I understand why I am getting a lot of these - but many of the others are a complete mystery. I have no idea how I got on their lists. But now, instead of quickly deleting, I scroll to the bottom and look for the SMALL print that says "click here if you wish to unsubscribe" and I click.
So far I think I've gotten rid of about 20……progress I guess.
Now that I'm retired I still enjoy checking email in the morning….but I don't hear from nearly as many friends. I guess most of the civilized world has moved on to Twitter or Instagram or whatever. Shorter messages??? Easier ways to spread videos??? I don't know because I'm still stuck on email.
And I do still love it. I'll hear from a friend in Massachusetts or North Carolina. Sometimes some friends who live (at least part of the year) in Florida and family in Washington State. My email connections are in Indiana and Illinois…and some right down in Milwaukee.
Then there are the dozens of others. My new friends at Home Depot, Sailrite, Wayfair, various insurance agencies and National Geographic. Almost daily emails from Fidelity Investments, Connecting Threads and Travelocity etc. etc.
I understand why I am getting a lot of these - but many of the others are a complete mystery. I have no idea how I got on their lists. But now, instead of quickly deleting, I scroll to the bottom and look for the SMALL print that says "click here if you wish to unsubscribe" and I click.
So far I think I've gotten rid of about 20……progress I guess.
Monday, December 1, 2014
One More View of a Few Days on the Farm…..
And yet another Thanksgiving tradition is the morning walk - down Claudia and Rob's driveway to the cemetery about a mile away. Anyone who wants to come is welcome - but usually, in the morning, it is the women and the dogs. (If we do it again later in the day we sometimes attract a few of the guys.) It's a beautiful and peaceful walk. Claudia told me this Thanksgiving that she's been taking this walk for about 25 years! Day after day she walked first thing in the morning, or as soon as she got home from work.
It's an easy route. You leave the house…
walk past the pond…
and then down next to the barn …
and continue down the driveway…
You go along the road, talking and laughing and reminiscing. Calling the dogs if they wander too far. Sometimes you see some of the cattle…
And you turn around at the cemetery….
…and retrace your route up the road…
It's quiet, peaceful and beautiful any time of year. If I lived on The Farm I would take that walk too…..and I would enjoy it every time.
It's an easy route. You leave the house…
walk past the pond…
and then down next to the barn …
and continue down the driveway…
You go along the road, talking and laughing and reminiscing. Calling the dogs if they wander too far. Sometimes you see some of the cattle…
And you turn around at the cemetery….
…and retrace your route up the road…
It's quiet, peaceful and beautiful any time of year. If I lived on The Farm I would take that walk too…..and I would enjoy it every time.
.......Oh Yes....A Little MORE Silliness
One Thanksgiving "tradition" that somehow developed over the years is tasting all kinds of bourbon in order to decide which brand is best. Frankly this is a contest that the men in the family judge with great enthusiasm....most of the women seem to stick to the wine.
This year the bottles were lined up and waiting….when googly eyes "attacked"!
I'm not sure which brand "won"….but I do know that the bottles were basically empty by the time we left.
This year the bottles were lined up and waiting….when googly eyes "attacked"!
I'm not sure which brand "won"….but I do know that the bottles were basically empty by the time we left.
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