It's Just Below the Surface.....

I am disturbed by the mood of our country right now......it seems so dark, and sad....never mind that the DOW just topped 20,000. I am struggling with the news that comes up every morning......government programs cut/eliminated......people protesting. My daughter asked me yesterday if I can remember an election that resulted in these kinds of feelings since I started voting....and I had to say no. Never.

I went to book club the other day. We were discussing The Nightingale. An excellent historical novel set in WWII France. The hardship, the decisions, the secrets.....the nightmare. Based on real events......so while not completely "correct" it was certainly based on fact.

Part of the story follows the Jews in France and when they were told they would have to wear gold stars on their coats for identification. A fact that most, if not all, of us are well aware of. And how their neighbors either supported them in secret, or turned a cheek and looked the other way.....due to fear. As part of the discussion the leader asked each of us to write down a question....without name attached....and she would use them to start the back-and-forth that makes book clubs so interesting.

My comment had to do with the fact that I thought the book was very timely in our today-world. We have so many in refugee camps around the world.....people leaving their homes unsure if or when they can ever return. We have so many countries where hunger is the norm. Many of the themes in the book seem to echo today. And my specific question was "What would you do if the government decided to institute a Muslim registry in the US?"

Almost complete silence. One member rather angrily said "Well let's not go there." and left the group to go use the rest room. Another said "Oh that would never happen here".....and I responded that people living in France certainly never expected it to happen "there" either.

Basically my question fell into a pool of uncomfortable silence.......and the discussion moved on to other questions.

Then I got home and watched a story on our 5:00 news. We have a very nice new gazebo that was build in Coal Dock Park overlooking Lake Michigan. This new structure has been the site of concerts, weddings, family gatherings. (The pavilion was built in memory of two young men who drowned off Port Washington's shore in 2012.) And now the news reported that "graffiti" decorated the gazebo.....in black spray paint throughout the interior on both the first and second floor. Three swastikas, several phallic symbols and the phrase "fule12".

Three swastikas......ahhhh no..."That would never happen here."

But it did....and it is.....and it's not even just below the surface anymore. It's right out there.....in your face.

What will you do if our government decides to start a Muslim registry??

Pay to Play.......

Just a quick note today. I've been scrolling through my Facebook page.....and of course there are a lot of political entries. Comments about yesterday's Women's March, lots of photographs....lots of comments

I was absolutely amazed to see the numbers of men and women, all over the world, who took to the streets yesterday. It was exciting, encouraging, powerful. I do hope this won't be a one-day-wonder, but that most of the participants will find ways to engage and make a difference starting at the local level.

And again on Facebook, I found several surveys asking me to add my name. One was to require President Trump and all future presidents and office holders to open their tax returns for the public to view. Another was asking me to add my name to an effort to stop the new government from de-funding Planned Parenthood.

I was willing to, and tried to support both of these efforts. I added my name, I included my email address and clicked the "next" button......where I was informed that in order to continue I had to choose an amount to donate to the effort.

That stopped me cold. I do dontate to causes that are important to me.......and will continue to do so. But this just made me mad.....pay to play.

How typical.

Getting Through Today.......

Friday, January 20th.....a big day in the USA.

A quiet start for me. Heading off for my second cataract surgery this morning so I can't have coffee or breakfast....and that makes me just "slightly" irritable. No "Good Morning America" for me today and that adds to the irritation.......but I don't want to hear any of the noise of this particular day. I'll see enough with the talking heads at some point.

It's a grey morning, light rain when I tried to walk Fenway at 7:00.....so no deal. He hates the rain and literally put on the brakes and made me drag him toward a bush.

Back up at the computer desk my mood changed slowly......I made our monthly contribution to each of the college fund for our four grandsons and, as I do every month, realize how fortunate I am to be able to do so.

And I look out the window toward the bike path and see people walking their dogs.....maybe the rain is over and we can try Fenway again.

I see birds zipping around the bird feeder.....and yep, there's two of "our" deer up on the hill. While the lake is not it's usual beautiful shade of dark blue.....at least I can see it today, hiding below the mist and fog.

And I read Julie Zickfoose's blog entry and she always makes me appreciate the world around me. The small things......the things I might not notice at all if her view didn't "sharpen" mine. I wish she lived next door!

And just think.....after today's surgery my view of my world will be just a little clearer.....and a little brighter....and a little more focused on what to do tomorrow.

Mixed Feelings......My Decision....but Their Job......

Apparently there are now over 50 members of Congress who plan to boycott tomorrow's inauguration. They list a variety of reasons......most of which echo my own feelings. But then I think to myself, I am a private citizen who certainly has the "right" to turn off my television. But these are the people we elect to office, who earn a significant salary and benefits most other workers would love to enjoy.

The obligation that they witness a peaceful transfer of power should be part of their job description. As should "works well with others". Sadly the start of this new administration reminds me of Mitch McConnell standing in front of all the reporters just after President Obama's first inauguration and stating that his party's main objective was to be sure he was a one-term President. At the time I was really angry ..... way to go Mitch.....way to work together to find common ground and do the work of the people.

And here we go again......now it's the Democrats' turn to say "we won't come and we won't work with this President."

I don't respect The Donald.....but I do respect the Presidency and I expect the people we elect to serve work together to solve the complex problems facing not only America....but our one precious planet.

And so I have mixed feelings.....I can understand why they want to boycott......but I think it's their job to stand as witness and to let our new POTUS know they are watching and waiting and willing to work with him as best they can.

Maybe they could all stand as a group with their backs turned during his inaugural address....but at least be there.

To Watch.....or Not......

Inauguration Day......just a few more days and we'll see a change in administration and a new POTUS  and family move into the White House. (At least I think they are moving in.)

I've voted in every Presidential election since I was 21 (voting age years ago!) and I think I've watched every inauguration....even if my candidate did not win. The peaceful transition of power in the United State of America is something that every American can view with pride.

NPR did a story this morning while I was driving to an appointment, It was part of the BBC news broadcast and I can't recall which country was involved. (A smaller country in Africa that recently held a presidential election.) The current President was saying that the inauguration, scheduled just days from now, should be postponed.....he was challenging the results and refused to relinquish his office. The winner of the recent election had taken refuge in another nearby country to avoid being attacked. The saddest part of the story was that the president-elect's young son died last weekend at eight years of age and his father was too afraid to even come home for the funeral. Can you imagine?

This news story made me think, once again, about how fortunate we are that our elections are peaceful.....and life goes on. At least every election that I can remember has proceeded with pomp and circumstance and very little dissent or confusion.

I have a feeling this Friday may be different.......and I just can't decide if I can bear to watch. It's not just that "my" candidate did not win....it's that I have no respect for the man walking into the position. None. I can't get over his words.....the words hurled during the long campaign and the incredible tweets that he keeps spewing all over in response to just about anything.

Words matter.....and presidential words matter a lot. One of his advisors said we should "ignore his words and look into his heart". ???? Just how do you do that??? Words reflect what's in your heart. "I love you." "I hate you." "You are stupid, ugly, pathetic, fat......" What you say pretty much tells me what's in your heart.

It's scarey to stand up and say I don't support/respect the man who is to be POTUS. I've never put myself "out there"....never marched for anything, never waved a banner, never joined a protest. But now at least I'm now calling my representatives on a regular basis.....they need to know how I feel about issues like female reproductive rights, equal pay for equal work, minimum wage, illegal immigrants (no I don't want a wall but I don't want illegal immigrants either), LGBT rights, public school education, the influence of big-money on our elected officials, affordable health care, social security, hate crime and on and on......

I have a voice and I've decided not to be afraid to use it......I have to use it. We all have to use our voices....in agreement or disagreement.......and hopefully in concensus and positive progress. Otherwise the story from Africa may be echoed in America someday.

To watch....or not to watch....that is my question for today. Ugh.

Happiness or Strength.......

I have a friend who posted a message for her daughter's birthday about a week ago....wishing her happiness every day.

I've been thinking about that post ever since. And I understand that this is a lovely and loving thing to wish for our kids. Happiness every single day.....for the rest of their lives. I'm sure I've said the same thing over the years. But my "kids" are much older now......very accomplished adults raising their own families, pursuing their own careers.

So it got me to thinking about happiness.....and the idea of wishing that someone would have it every day. Every day.

Is that what I wish for the people I love? Do I wish them an impossible dream?

I think, instead, I wish them strength. Happiness will come....and some days will be happier than others, but I wish them strength.  So that when the hard times come, and they will, they can get through them. I wish them strength to face disappointments, because they will come as well. I wish them the strength to get through loss.....because that will also be a part of their lives....an unavoidable part.

If I had to choose I guess I would wish my "kids" and grandkids strength......and optimism and joy and love and, of course, a huge dose of happiness along the way.

Sitting on My Shoulder.....

Winter is a good time to work on quilts....at least in Wisconsin. It's not as easy to be outside when the wind is blowing and the temperatures are falling. But spending time with fabric, color and texture moving from my stash to an idea and then a finished quilt can be very satisfying.

I especially enjoy doing the "unexpected" and using something that others might not. When my mother died in 2010 I saved some of her tablecloths and doilies. Some of these have found there way into quilts over the past few years.  But there was still one large linen tablecloth "waiting". It remained folded in a box, and when I'd see it I would think about what to do....but just couldn't come up with a real concept. It's a large tablecloth. I don't remember her using it often but it was probably on the table for Easter with her colorful  Easter egg tree and flowers as centerpieces.

I knew I would never use it as a tablecloth - too much ironing!

A few weeks ago I was re-sorting my stash and realized that I had one piece of butterfly fabric left and the color of the butterflies perfectly matched the threadwork on mom's tablecloth. And if I cut out the butterflies and "tossed" them around the top I could cover a few stains in the process. And so I began.

I'm pleased with the results although it is so long I will have to find a new way to hang it. I think she'd be happy with it....and part of my heart thinks she was sitting on my shoulder and watching as the tablecloth and the butterflies went together.

Thanks mom......you still provide inspiration.

Smack Out of the Blue.......

Today was the day for cataract surgery #1.....my left eye.

Dave and I were at the hospital early in the morning and after awhile he left to go find coffee while the nurses got me ready, the anesthesiologist stopped by and my eye doctor came in to answer any last minute questions.

And then, lying on the gurney, covered with those nice warm hospital blankets, IV installed in my hand, blood pressure cuff around my arm.....I waited. I closed my eyes and went to "my happy place"...at anchor on Connemara down in the Bahamas. I really wasn't nervous....but then again, I only have two eyeballs!

Suddenly I could hear another nurse talking on a phone in the hall - she was relaying patient information to someone. It concerned the patient next to me....also in for cataract surgery. Nothing terribly personal......but then the nurse said "her name is Claudia Clark" and I teared up.

My cousin......my dear cousin who died in September..... the friend, the pal, the artist that I still miss so very much.

Her cataracts were caused by chemotherapy. She described seeing colors so differently after her surgeries. How bright they were.....how many shades of green and brown and blue and red and yellow were suddenly clear to her again. How beautiful this world around us.

One Claudia Clark was my cousin.....and the other was a woman I'd never met in the room next to mine.

I took it for what it was....a nudge, a touch, a whisper of "it's going to be fine...wait until you see the colors!"

When I was discharged a few hours later Dave and I walked down the hallway. I realized that the woman's daughter was sitting in the room waiting for her to come back. I stopped and smiled at her and said "Piece of cake.....it wasn't hard at all and your mom will be just fine."  Her response was "Wow....thank you so much for that."

Least I could do.....pass on a Claudia message to another Claudia.

10,000.....

I've been very good about wearing my Fitbit - at least for most of 2016. I use it to remind me to walk 10,000+ steps every day. Between taking Fenway out, walking through the condo looking for my glasses or trying to find my phone, running errands or just going for a walk it hasn't been difficult to meet this goal. And I feel good after walking four to six miles during the day.....so I intend to keep doing it for 2017.

But today it's just too damn cold. The wind chill has Port Washington well below zero. In spite of the sunshine and nice blue skies, Fenway and I race out and back in very quickly. About ten steps to the grassy area and ten steps back.

So down to the lower level garage I go. Around and around past the parked cars and the empty spaces. It's really a very boring view and smells sort of dusty..... but it is heated and there is no wind. Around and around I go.......and even though it's boring it gives me time to think about "things". It takes me away from the noise of the radio or television....and surrounds me with silence.

With the exception of the heater fan when it kicks on, or a neighbor coming off the elevator to go to their car or another arriving back home, the garage is quiet.

A day with below zero temperatures and wind.....10,000 steps as a goal....our indoor, heated garage works!