56th.....

And so Dave and I celebrate another year....I found the perfect anniversary card MONTHS ago and it greeted him first thing this morning.....

...his card was sweeter and since conditions seemed right we did sign on the "dotted lines". We went out to dinner at The Pasta Tree, a local restaurant in business for more than 40 years. I'd been there once before  but it was a new experience for Dave and we both enjoyed our meals. We took our "table cloth" and added more memories to it, this year in green ink....running out of room!

Our waiter brought a special dessert to share and so, we toast to 56 years in the rear view mirror and look forward to more memories to add in 2024.

Sky?

I walked out of the building at 6:45 this morning and was greeted by grey. After two days of blue skies this was a bit of a "shock" to the system.

I took my short walk around triangular Gilman Park across the street and then back toward the building. Bradford Avenue was in the soup.

I used to look out the window from our condo in Port Washington and enjoy the fact that Lake Michigan changed day by day and even hour by hour depending on the light This morning's walk was a reminder that views change no matter where you are.

There weren't even any birds singing this morning and they usually make a real racket in the bushes and trees along my path. I guess they decided to sleep in.

 

Again Looking Up.....

I bundled up for my early morning walk and left the building at 7:30 (I overslept!). As soon as I exited the Eastcastle property and closed the gate behind me I looked east toward the lake and was taken by the morning sky.

These clouds covered the sky from one horizon to the other. Bare tree boughs, white puffs with blue peeking through. I have no idea what they are called but it was simply a lovely way to start my day. Thank you Mother Nature!

A Seasonal Favorite.....

A few years ago I found this melting snowman in my Christmas stocking.....and he has been a favorite ever since! I love finding his little box in the big holiday storage bin, taking him out, and beginning the fun annual "project...making a new snowman for my kitchen divider every morning. He begins the day looking like this:

However, he soon begins to lose his enthusiasm and starts to droop and look like this: 

And the following morning we have complete surrender:

So I get to begin again and each time my snowman looks just a little different, taller, or a bigger head, or his hat tipped differently. This really is one of my all-time favorite gifts!

Another Recommendation.....

Yesterday I finished another excellent book. This one was labeled as young adult, but I found it somewhere in our Eastcastle library so decided to give it a try. I'd heard people talking about it awhile ago and have been trying to broaden my reading perspectives. So I sat in our comfortable living room chair, turned on the table lamp and opened the cover.

A few hours later I pulled myself away to stretch my legs and get ready to go down for dinner. It wasn't easy to close the cover.

The next day I picked the novel up with my morning cup of coffee and finished within an hour. I am a fast reader and this book kept me interested enough to want to quickly turn each page. The author painted a clear picture of a family living, working and loving in a less-than-ideal part of the city. Her words made me stop and think and look at situations with a different level of understanding....maybe.

A few quotes jumped off the narrative:

"Brave doesn't mean you're not scared. It means you go on even though you're scared." 

" Once upon a time there was a hazel-eyed boy with dimples. I called him Khalil. The world called him a thug. He lived, but not nearly long enough, and for the rest of my life I'll remember how he died. Fairy tale? No. But I'm not giving up on a better ending."

 "And at the end of the day, you don't kill someone for opening a car door. If you do, you

 shouldn't be a cop."

In our America 2023 so many books are banned and this one is on the list. Many schools have decided that it has too much violence and profanity and gives the reader an anti-police message. While I agree the book portrays the story with a gritty realism it does just that....portrays reality for many Americans.

And my humble opinion it doesn't hurt a high-school student or better yet an adult to get a dose of the reality that is, perhaps, very different than any they have known. The Hate U Give shows a side of America that we may not be proud of.....but it is one side of America.

Unexpected.....

At this time of year almost anyone who celebrates Christmas begins to put up some kinds of special decorations. We see a lot of the "usual"....wreaths, Santa Claus, colored lights in trees, ribbons, candy canes, poinsettias. All are touches of color that help cheer up the neighborhood as it turns from green trees to empty boughs for the winter.

Yesterday I drove a few miles north to visit my knee doctor for his magic cortisone shots. Entering his office I checked in and turned to sit in the waiting area. The Christmas decorations on his office countertop were just slightly unexpected....and yet perfectly appropriate.

I left his office about thirty minutes later already feeling a bit more bounce in my step and still amused by the holiday greeters in his office.

A Start....

Dave and I usually begin our Christmas decorating the weekend after Thanksgiving. We don't use a lot of red and green in our "normal" decor so having the Santa collection out and touches of red throughout the apartment is just fun for a month. I did our "front" door first so that was my start. 

The holidays at Eastcastle are always fun and busy and it turns out this year there will be a "competition" between floors to see who can decorate the best. At our weekly Monday cocktail party the fourth floor decided to put a big bow on each front door so that the decorations would spread through the hallways. I offered to make bows because I love to do it so have been busy in Santa's workshop.

We've gathered decorations for the cocktail area just off our elevator and it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Someone also  suggested that we "steal" the trees from the third floor. Maybe the Grinch will sneak around some night and do just that!

 

One Number.....

Another trip around the sun. Another year under my belt. All the phrases we use to describe the annual celebration of a birthday. I just hit 77 on November 24th and it was a nice day. We had lunch with Meg,, Mike and Zach at a new restaurant in Milwaukee then Dave and I went to the theater to see "School of Rock". The book store gift certificate from my son and family ended up making every present perfect. I don't want "stuff" any more.....just experiences or a gift card that supports something I like to do. I don't have to dust those!

But maybe one of the best parts of my day was the fact that I opened our mailbox here at Eastcastle to find lots of birthday cards. And every time I left the apartment I'd find more birthday wishes on the little shelf outside our door.

We have made so many nice friends since moving here....and what fun that so many of them took a moment to walk from their apartment to ours and leave me a birthday wish.

I tease that for the next year I only have to remember ONE number.....7. I do look in the mirror and wonder just how the years have passed so quickly, but it's nice to celebrate another year and look forward to more good times as I head toward 78.

:-) 

Another Dry Spell.....

It's not that my life has been especially "boring" since the end of October.....but to my dedicated friends who check out this blog, I've had zero "inspiration".

My daughter, the artist, talks about this time of year as sometimes being "fallow" and her creativity goes on pause. I'll follow her lead and just not let this "bother" me and figure that sooner or later I will come up with something amazingly important to ponder and share.

Or maybe not....

Beautiful Windows.....

Leaving for my early morning walk I went out a side door into our gazebo area.....looking up toward the original historic building at Eastcastle the stained glass windows in one specific staircase caught my eye.

These windows are "hidden" from inside the building and it took us awhile, after moving in, to find the right hallway leading to the door opening into this secret world of beauty. The windows were commissioned in memory of a couple's son who died in Paris many years ago. At one point, when the buildings were being re-designed, it was suggested that the windows be removed....luckily one of the architects (who now lives here) vetoed that decision.

The ending dark of the early fall morning meant the inside lights were still on and the colorful beauty was lit from within. Just a quick reminder to look for beauty in unexpected places.....often in nature....just as often in the buildings around us.

Watch Your Step.....

I am still taking my early morning walks....unless it is raining! I just do a short walk across the street from our apartment building around Gilman Park. It's familiar since I did it almost every morning with Fenway for the two years we had him here. Just some fresh air to start the day.

We had two days of rain but yesterday I was able to re-establish my routine. Crossing Downer Avenue I started around the triangle park and noticed that the wind and rain of the previous days succeeded in bringing most of the leaves off the park's trees.

At times I could hardly see the sidewalk. Aging makes me more aware of where I am walking and I've stubbed my toes and almost tripped several times because of crooked sidewalks. So what to do? Not only were the leaves still damp meaning they were a bit slippery under my gym shoes, but I couldn't see any cracks or sidewalk repairs. 

Yesterday's morning walk was a bit slower than usual and spent staring down just ahead of where I planned to take my next step. Success....morning walk without tripping. 

Today I realized that someone (city workers?) had been out and the sidewalks were clean. Perhaps not quite as visually interesting, but a little easier to navigate.

Fall in Wisconsin.....

....and the Next Morning

The morning after pink sky I walked outside and had a different view. Same walk around the block but a different view.

I came back into the apartment and told Dave it was a lovely day and the air actually felt "soft" on my skin. That's not a meteorological fact I'm sure....but that's how it felt to me. Two lovely mornings in a row and worth the early morning stroll. 

Today it's raining.

7:16....

I am still taking my early morning walk....just a dog-owner habit that I can't and don't seem to want to break. I walk around the block and just look at the grass and trees and picture that silly little Fenway butt trotting along in front of me.

Yesterday morning I was struck by the sky...looking up it was such a lovely pink. I should have walked toward the lakefront, but I just enjoyed what I could see outside on our block.

7:16 a.m.....thank you Mother Nature.

 

Again....Required Reading

As of today Heather Cox Richardson's new book, Democracy Awakening: Notes on the State of America, is number four on the NY Times Best Seller List for non-fiction. I read this last week....purchased just a few days after it became available.

I've been following Professor Richardson's Letters From an American on line for several years and she has helped to clarify a confusing and frightening few years in America. She usually ends her daily letter with some kind of comforting comments about how we, as individuals, have the right to make our voices heard. She encourages all of us to contact our representatives when we find unacceptable "behavior" and to VOTE.

I encourage all of you to purchase this book or get on the waiting list at your library. Trying to make sense of hour our democracy got here in 2023 and where we go from here...reading the book helps to clarify everything.

To quote the information on the book cover: "In the midst of the impeachment crisis of 2019, Heather Cox Richardson launched a daily Facebook essay providing the historical background of the incessant torrent of news. It soon turned into a newsletter, and its readership ballooned to more than two million dedicated readers, who rely on her plainspoken take on the present and past in America." The description goes on to say, "May books tell us what has happened over the last five years.  Democracy Awakening explains how we go to this perilous point, what our history really tells us about ourselves, and what the future of democracy can be."

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Do yourself a favor....no matter what side of the fence you may be on....read it....and ponder.

Trying Something New.....

My friends know I spend as little time in the kitchen as possible....and since moving to Eastcastle I literally don't have to do anything that involves kitchen appliances. But scrolling through my Facebook page I found something "cute" for Halloween and thought I'd give it a try. 

After all....to make these pretzel mummies all I had to do was buy the pretzels and melt white chocolate in the microwave! Success!

Required Reading.....

I honestly don't remember who recommended Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson to me. Whoever it was....thank you.

This was not an easy read. It was an "uncomfortable" read. It was a thought provoking and disturbing read. It was a necessary read. This book should be required reading for every American. It should be required in schools (although I know there's not a chance of that.) I'm not sure what grade level would be able to digest and think and recognize and discuss this.....but this book is so well researched and so complete that it's impossible to argue with the premiss and the conclusions.

Much of American history is a source of pride.....but much is not. And our children and our friends do not learn about the parts that "hurt", and we need to. When I saw the title I immediately thought on the caste system in India....but here in America caste affects every aspect of our lives.

Deep into the narrative I quote the author: "The goal of this work has not been to resolve all of the problems of a millennia-old phenomenon, but to cast a light onto its history, its consequences, and its presence in our everyday lives and to express hopes for its resolution. A housing inspector does not make the repairs on the building he has examined. It is for the owners, meaning each of us, to correct the ruptures we have inherited.

The fact is that the bottom caste, thought it bears much of the burden of the hierarchy, did not create the caste system, and the bottom caste alone cannot fix it. The challenge has long been that many in the dominant caste, who are in a better position to fix caste inequity, have often been least likely to want to."

I encourage you to read this book....it will change the way you think about life in America today....and tomorrow.

Home Again....Home Again....

My life has been an adventure since the 19th....one I hope never to repeat.  I went in early that morning for a scheduled bronchoscopy. This would be my second this year and I trust my pulmonologist who is trying to treat a slow-growing bacterial lung infection for me. The first one, in January, was a non-event. This recent one was a bit "different".

Coming out of the anesthesia I hear someone saying "She's spasming again" and then I was "out". It turned out my vocal cords spasmed twice and the anesthesiologist had to administer a specific drug so that they would relax and I could breath. (Good idea!) So I stayed in recovery about an hour longer than normal but we were back in the apartment around noon.  Much of the afternoon was pretty normal....I took a nap because we were up so early, but then was doing computer work, did some quilting,  and read my book. I began to notice that I was experiencing some aches and pains in my legs and it was getting more difficult to get up out of a chair and to walk easily. I called my doctor and he said it was probably a very rare side-effect of the anesthesia, to drink lots of water and it should work it's way out of my system.

Sleeping that night was difficult and getting in and out of bed more challenging. On Wednesday morning I asked Dave to bring up the walker from our garage (saved since my bunion surgery years ago) and I used that just to be sure I was steady. But it got to the point where I had to grab my jeans or pj bottom to try to lift my legs up and into bed. Wednesday night was even worse with my arms feeling weaker so that I couldn't really shift position in bed. At 4:30 a.m. I got up, managed to get myself dressed, messaged my doctor and woke Dave....we were heading back to the hospital. He had to lift my legs to get me into the car and out!

Thursday passed in a wild blur....several doctors in the ER, tests (blood, x-ray, CAT scan, three MRIs, spinal tap), a teleconference call with a neurology specialist who suspected maybe Lymes disease (after our spring RV trip out East) or Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS). I was admitted and moved to ICU where the doctor arrived and told us they were treating me for GBS and I would be in for five days. She explained that we'd caught this early but they would be testing my breathing capacity every six hours....if the ascending "paralysis" moved to my diaphragm it would affect my breathing and I would go on a vent.

I were confused and worried but I refused to "go there" in my brain and demanded that Dave stay off Dr. Google.  The only internet site recommended by my physician if I wanted to explore was MayoClinic.org. That night I was given a IVIG "cocktail"....dripped into my veins for about 90 minutes. Blood pressure checks every 30 minutes, vitals checked every four hours, oxygen level monitored. Needless to say sleep was basically out of the question.....for me with all the interruptions and beeping instruments in my hospital room and for Dave at home worried and alone. The next day there was some improvement and with two more nights of the magic potion basically all symptoms were gone. 

I was discharged on Sunday morning and we were home by 10:30. There will be some follow-up appointments with a neurologist but we are beginning to think this was a reaction to the drug given for the vocal cord spasms.....and not GBS because of the super-rapid turn around.

Whatever it is/was remains a mystery for the moment. All I know is I am so thankful to be home and sleeping in my own bed. It was another reminder that life can change in an instant......

Announcing....

A beautiful Saturday here in Milwaukee and mid-morning I decided to walk to the library to return a book and stop at the bank to deposit a check. As I left the building and crossed the parking lot to get to the Prospect Avenue sidewalk a special tree popped into my line of sight. It's not a very big tree and stands along the edge of the Montessori School grounds.

Growing up I always heard that seeing your first robin meant spring was coming....well this was my first harbinger of fall. She is pretty but I'm not in any hurry to see all the trees turn and then the winter temperatures arrive. I wonder what Mother Nature will have in store for us this year?

And Then Evening....

After dinner last night I went to sit out on our little deck. The heat and humidity of the last few days was gone so it was a perfect time to sit and enjoy the outside. I noticed the "hole" in the clouds with the lowering sun sending light through the openings.

A few minutes later I glanced up again and noticed movement. It was a huge dragonfly "invasion"! We'd seen this from our deck in Port Washington but I just happened to be at the right place at the right time tonight. 

My phone camera doesn't do it justice and they moved so fast....but you can see a few black "dots"! I watched for about ten minutes and saw hundreds and hundreds pass overhead. They were flying from east to west so seemed to "launch" off the apartment building's roof. Migrating dragonflies....lovely.

A nice nature start to my day....and a nice nature end.....

A Ray of Sunshine.....

I woke at 6:00 this morning....even a little early for when I was on Fenway's routine. But once I was awake I couldn't go back to sleep so quietly got out of bed. After only a week the first walk past the empty Fenway corner in our bedroom is still giving me damp eyes.

Dressing, brushing my teeth and grabbing my phone I walked out of the apartment and decided to go toward Lake Michigan today. The sky was overcast with a possibility of scattered showers in the forecast. As I approached the bluff I noticed sunshine yellow slicing through the cloud cover over the lake.

Crossing the street I walked right to the edge of the bluff and saw that within 30 seconds the light had changed and I was struck by the sun beams now reaching up toward the roof of the sky. It was beautiful and my morning reminder that there is beauty all around us, if we take the time to just look.

In the week since we kissed Fenway goodbye I have been basically looking down at the pavement as I take this morning walk.....it hurts not to see his silly little butt moving along in front of me. Today was a reminder that I need to look up....so I will.

My Therapy.....

Writing and sharing Fenway memories are, for me, a kind of therapy. I'm sure I'll move past this soon....but for now things keep occurring to me and they float around in my brain before making their way to the keyboard. 

As I got up in the middle of the night last night I glanced toward the now empty corner where Fenway's bed used to be. I would check him each time I walked past and cover him up if he's worked his way out of the fleece. Sometimes he would wake, quickly glance up at me, and immediately put his head back down to sleep.

Boston Terriers love to be covered up....and sometimes work hard with that flat little face to get their noses under the edge of a blanket so they can wiggle underneath. Fenway liked to be covered up whenever he was on the couch, our bed or a chair. He wanted to be covered at home, while visiting friends and while being Camper Boy. We could always find him by looking for the lump.

I miss those lumps.

Dealing With It.....

And so we begin our post-Fenway days.....the first few have been full of both expected and unexpected "hits" of grief.

I keep waking at 6:00 - 6:30 to go for our morning walk. But his corner of our bedroom is empty.

So I walk alone. I don't go anywhere without kleenex in my pocket.....but walking our familiar around-the-park four block morning walk sort of helps and sort of makes me all-over sad again. It's boring to go along the sidewalk without his silly little butt leading me on and not stopping at each tree so he can re-claim from the day before.

We've packed up his toys, bowls, sweaters, raincoats, unopened cans of food to take to the Humane Society. But we've kept a few of his favorites in his toy basket just because.

 

                                  

Ever since we bought our couch in 2015 to move to the condo we've kept the bottom cushions covered with a brown sheet. Fenway loved to be on this couch. I took the sheet off today and the cushions are pristene...but I miss the brown sheet.

When we leave the apartment we no longer have to break one of his cookies into four pieces to spread around so he could have his "treasure" hunt after we shut the door. I will give the rest of the open box to a neighbor with a small dog.

Our friends and neighbors have been so kind....we've found at least a dozen condolence cards outside our door. One friend called him The King of the Castle! I've had calls from best friends and am amazed at the number of thoughtful comments after Fenway's "obituary" post.....they do help.

Grief comes in all kinds and in all sizes....for family, friends, neighbors and our four legged "kids". It's a walk that we take one step at a time. Dave and I are walking....slowly, and now both stop and stare at the last picture Dave took shortly before Fenway died. Our handsome boy. 

Fenway Underfoot Woodard

September 7, 2009 - August 29, 2023

...And We Come Home Alone....

In '09 we decided our little house in Bay View was just too quiet....so we thought it was time for another dog. Fenway Underfoot Woodard joined our family when he was just six weeks old. And did he ever bring laughter and activity into our lives and into our little house. Our first male and our first small dog...he was our sweetheart within days.

   

In 2010 we retired and bought a small RV and Fenway became "Camper Boy". He was such a good traveler....joining us for over 75,000 miles as we explored the USA and lower Canada.  As a boy we learned he had to leave his mark. We used to joke that Fenway "owned" the Grand Canyon, much of Texas. all of New England, parts of Florida, the Oregon Coast and everywhere in between.

Fenway "dressed up" and celebrated Christmas...being careful with Santa Claus.

When we moved to Port Washington he learned to be "Condo Boy" and moved into his role with gusto. He made friends in our building, loved walking the bike path and along the water and taking naps on our small deck.

He always found ways to make us laugh, playing hide and seek ("If I can't see YOU, you can't see ME!")

                                                Or "googlepussing" on the beach in Oregon....

               He wasn't necessarily good about sharing his toys...."Just try to get this frisbee!"

As he aged, Fenway got grayer and we called him "Our Frostie Bostie".

Leaving Port Washington our senior citizen moved with us to our retirement community apartment. He learned to be City Boy and made more new friends and loved our fourth floor Monday night cocktail hour.

We left Milwaukee two days ago to meet friends in west of Madison so the guys could go fly fishing on the Kickapoo River. We had amazing weather but sadly did not pick the best spot to fish. We still had a good visit. Fenway had been limping on an off for a few weeks, our veterinarian suspected arthritis first,  so we had drugs to help with that. But on this RV trip the limp got worse and he would always hold his right paw off the floor whenever sitting down. And then occasionally he began to cry out and whimper.  So we decided to break camp this morning and take him to the vet. Our doctor was fully booked until after Labor Day so we went to a 24 hour emergency vet office in Greenfield. We left Fenway with the doctor and waited two hours in the RV before getting the call to come back in.

X-rays showed Fenway was suffering from bone cancer and was in pain. The doctor was very kind and did describe several options. Amputation .... we said no. He could give us pain meds that would help some and for a short time, but this was going to get worse quickly and Fenway was in pain.

We were stunned and with heads spinning and hearts breaking we told the doctor we didn't want him to suffer so it was time to say goodbye. Fenway, cushioned on his favorite fleece blankie with the two of us crying, talking to him, kissing his sweet forehead and patting him all over, quickly slipped away. 

Coming home and walking down the hallway of our building without Fenway at the end of the leash was hard. Opening our apartment door to silence was crushing. Pet owners know this day will come....and he was almost 14....but still.....

Worst RV trip ever.