Dealing With It.....

And so we begin our post-Fenway days.....the first few have been full of both expected and unexpected "hits" of grief.

I keep waking at 6:00 - 6:30 to go for our morning walk. But his corner of our bedroom is empty.

So I walk alone. I don't go anywhere without kleenex in my pocket.....but walking our familiar around-the-park four block morning walk sort of helps and sort of makes me all-over sad again. It's boring to go along the sidewalk without his silly little butt leading me on and not stopping at each tree so he can re-claim from the day before.

We've packed up his toys, bowls, sweaters, raincoats, unopened cans of food to take to the Humane Society. But we've kept a few of his favorites in his toy basket just because.

 

                                  

Ever since we bought our couch in 2015 to move to the condo we've kept the bottom cushions covered with a brown sheet. Fenway loved to be on this couch. I took the sheet off today and the cushions are pristene...but I miss the brown sheet.

When we leave the apartment we no longer have to break one of his cookies into four pieces to spread around so he could have his "treasure" hunt after we shut the door. I will give the rest of the open box to a neighbor with a small dog.

Our friends and neighbors have been so kind....we've found at least a dozen condolence cards outside our door. One friend called him The King of the Castle! I've had calls from best friends and am amazed at the number of thoughtful comments after Fenway's "obituary" post.....they do help.

Grief comes in all kinds and in all sizes....for family, friends, neighbors and our four legged "kids". It's a walk that we take one step at a time. Dave and I are walking....slowly, and now both stop and stare at the last picture Dave took shortly before Fenway died. Our handsome boy. 

Fenway Underfoot Woodard

September 7, 2009 - August 29, 2023

...And We Come Home Alone....

In '09 we decided our little house in Bay View was just too quiet....so we thought it was time for another dog. Fenway Underfoot Woodard joined our family when he was just six weeks old. And did he ever bring laughter and activity into our lives and into our little house. Our first male and our first small dog...he was our sweetheart within days.

   

In 2010 we retired and bought a small RV and Fenway became "Camper Boy". He was such a good traveler....joining us for over 75,000 miles as we explored the USA and lower Canada.  As a boy we learned he had to leave his mark. We used to joke that Fenway "owned" the Grand Canyon, much of Texas. all of New England, parts of Florida, the Oregon Coast and everywhere in between.

Fenway "dressed up" and celebrated Christmas...being careful with Santa Claus.

When we moved to Port Washington he learned to be "Condo Boy" and moved into his role with gusto. He made friends in our building, loved walking the bike path and along the water and taking naps on our small deck.

He always found ways to make us laugh, playing hide and seek ("If I can't see YOU, you can't see ME!")

                                                Or "googlepussing" on the beach in Oregon....

               He wasn't necessarily good about sharing his toys...."Just try to get this frisbee!"

As he aged, Fenway got grayer and we called him "Our Frostie Bostie".

Leaving Port Washington our senior citizen moved with us to our retirement community apartment. He learned to be City Boy and made more new friends and loved our fourth floor Monday night cocktail hour.

We left Milwaukee two days ago to meet friends in west of Madison so the guys could go fly fishing on the Kickapoo River. We had amazing weather but sadly did not pick the best spot to fish. We still had a good visit. Fenway had been limping on an off for a few weeks, our veterinarian suspected arthritis first,  so we had drugs to help with that. But on this RV trip the limp got worse and he would always hold his right paw off the floor whenever sitting down. And then occasionally he began to cry out and whimper.  So we decided to break camp this morning and take him to the vet. Our doctor was fully booked until after Labor Day so we went to a 24 hour emergency vet office in Greenfield. We left Fenway with the doctor and waited two hours in the RV before getting the call to come back in.

X-rays showed Fenway was suffering from bone cancer and was in pain. The doctor was very kind and did describe several options. Amputation .... we said no. He could give us pain meds that would help some and for a short time, but this was going to get worse quickly and Fenway was in pain.

We were stunned and with heads spinning and hearts breaking we told the doctor we didn't want him to suffer so it was time to say goodbye. Fenway, cushioned on his favorite fleece blankie with the two of us crying, talking to him, kissing his sweet forehead and patting him all over, quickly slipped away. 

Coming home and walking down the hallway of our building without Fenway at the end of the leash was hard. Opening our apartment door to silence was crushing. Pet owners know this day will come....and he was almost 14....but still.....

Worst RV trip ever.

City Reflections.....

Living on the east side of Milwaukee puts us close to downtown and only four blocks from Lake Michigan. We love this neighborhood....walking different routes with Fenway takes us by some amazing, large historic homes. Driving down into the city or on the highway skirting city center provides more views of architecture that never gets old. 

Every time we get on the highway to head out of town the time of day, sunlight and direction provides another glimpse of where we live. Dave was at the wheel about a week ago as we moved south down Memorial Drive to merge onto 94 west. I glanced to the right and enjoyed another city reflection.

So much included in just this one image.....midwest puffy clouds, natural green and an office building reflecting new construction.

It just never gets old......

Busy Bees.....

Walking Fenway yesterday I went a block up Stowell Avenue, crossed the street and stopped at the corner house where he wanted to do some extra sniffing. I'm not sure the house is occupied right now as I never see any activity outside or lights on inside. The front yard is a sort of mish-mash of flowers and weeds gone wild. While not at all a groomed lawn, the assortment of blooming plants seem to be favorites with butterflies passing by and now the bees.

As I stood there I realized there were dozens of small bees attracted to the flowering onion (I think!). Happy, busy little bees....I didn't bother them and they didn't bother us. Mother Nature at work.

His Name Was Jack.....

When we went to Kenai, Alaska to see best friends, Janie and Phil, in 2021 we met the newest member of their family....Jack. He was a Maremma sheepdog, a big Italian breed....friendly as could be. Dog lovers all we made a big fuss over Jack and sort of "discussed" whether he was to be an indoor or outdoor dog. This breed has a heavy, heavy coat and loves cold weather....a perfect Alaska dog.  Jack would "patrol" the grounds and whenever we heard him barking we knew a moose was close by.  Janie and Phil designed a special heated, indoor sleeping area he could access in the garage....but Jack preferred to sleep outside even in the winter. Janie said he would make a nest in a big snow drift right below their bedroom window....comfy as could be. 

But, no surprise, as Jack became more and more beloved he'd peek in the living room window and then be allowed to come in....but only on a small area rug right by the doorway.....

.....and then, maybe during meal time, he would be allowed to come just a little closer.

As an Alaska resident and parents who loved to fish and spend time in the kitchen, Jack enjoyed home made salmon dog cookies and he even sent a few home in our suitcase for Fenway. Jack loved to run and would follow Phil down the road behind the car....racing to get his exercise. 

I got a fast message from Janie on my phone last night...."We just had to put Jack down. It was peaceful but we are a wreck." I'd known for months that Janie and Phil had been making trips back and forth to the vet to try to help Jack with several serious health problems but the message grabbed my heart and tears filled my eyes. At an outdoor concert I walked away from the music to a quieter area and called....Janie's voice was filled with tears as she told me they were burying him in a place of honor.

We dog lovers know that when they leave they take a piece of our hearts and leave their footprints behind....you were much loved Mr. Jack. You will be missed terribly....and now, the moose will be back wandering through your yard.