Required Reading.....

I honestly don't remember who recommended Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson to me. Whoever it was....thank you.

This was not an easy read. It was an "uncomfortable" read. It was a thought provoking and disturbing read. It was a necessary read. This book should be required reading for every American. It should be required in schools (although I know there's not a chance of that.) I'm not sure what grade level would be able to digest and think and recognize and discuss this.....but this book is so well researched and so complete that it's impossible to argue with the premiss and the conclusions.

Much of American history is a source of pride.....but much is not. And our children and our friends do not learn about the parts that "hurt", and we need to. When I saw the title I immediately thought on the caste system in India....but here in America caste affects every aspect of our lives.

Deep into the narrative I quote the author: "The goal of this work has not been to resolve all of the problems of a millennia-old phenomenon, but to cast a light onto its history, its consequences, and its presence in our everyday lives and to express hopes for its resolution. A housing inspector does not make the repairs on the building he has examined. It is for the owners, meaning each of us, to correct the ruptures we have inherited.

The fact is that the bottom caste, thought it bears much of the burden of the hierarchy, did not create the caste system, and the bottom caste alone cannot fix it. The challenge has long been that many in the dominant caste, who are in a better position to fix caste inequity, have often been least likely to want to."

I encourage you to read this book....it will change the way you think about life in America today....and tomorrow.

Home Again....Home Again....

My life has been an adventure since the 19th....one I hope never to repeat.  I went in early that morning for a scheduled bronchoscopy. This would be my second this year and I trust my pulmonologist who is trying to treat a slow-growing bacterial lung infection for me. The first one, in January, was a non-event. This recent one was a bit "different".

Coming out of the anesthesia I hear someone saying "She's spasming again" and then I was "out". It turned out my vocal cords spasmed twice and the anesthesiologist had to administer a specific drug so that they would relax and I could breath. (Good idea!) So I stayed in recovery about an hour longer than normal but we were back in the apartment around noon.  Much of the afternoon was pretty normal....I took a nap because we were up so early, but then was doing computer work, did some quilting,  and read my book. I began to notice that I was experiencing some aches and pains in my legs and it was getting more difficult to get up out of a chair and to walk easily. I called my doctor and he said it was probably a very rare side-effect of the anesthesia, to drink lots of water and it should work it's way out of my system.

Sleeping that night was difficult and getting in and out of bed more challenging. On Wednesday morning I asked Dave to bring up the walker from our garage (saved since my bunion surgery years ago) and I used that just to be sure I was steady. But it got to the point where I had to grab my jeans or pj bottom to try to lift my legs up and into bed. Wednesday night was even worse with my arms feeling weaker so that I couldn't really shift position in bed. At 4:30 a.m. I got up, managed to get myself dressed, messaged my doctor and woke Dave....we were heading back to the hospital. He had to lift my legs to get me into the car and out!

Thursday passed in a wild blur....several doctors in the ER, tests (blood, x-ray, CAT scan, three MRIs, spinal tap), a teleconference call with a neurology specialist who suspected maybe Lymes disease (after our spring RV trip out East) or Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS). I was admitted and moved to ICU where the doctor arrived and told us they were treating me for GBS and I would be in for five days. She explained that we'd caught this early but they would be testing my breathing capacity every six hours....if the ascending "paralysis" moved to my diaphragm it would affect my breathing and I would go on a vent.

I were confused and worried but I refused to "go there" in my brain and demanded that Dave stay off Dr. Google.  The only internet site recommended by my physician if I wanted to explore was MayoClinic.org. That night I was given a IVIG "cocktail"....dripped into my veins for about 90 minutes. Blood pressure checks every 30 minutes, vitals checked every four hours, oxygen level monitored. Needless to say sleep was basically out of the question.....for me with all the interruptions and beeping instruments in my hospital room and for Dave at home worried and alone. The next day there was some improvement and with two more nights of the magic potion basically all symptoms were gone. 

I was discharged on Sunday morning and we were home by 10:30. There will be some follow-up appointments with a neurologist but we are beginning to think this was a reaction to the drug given for the vocal cord spasms.....and not GBS because of the super-rapid turn around.

Whatever it is/was remains a mystery for the moment. All I know is I am so thankful to be home and sleeping in my own bed. It was another reminder that life can change in an instant......

Announcing....

A beautiful Saturday here in Milwaukee and mid-morning I decided to walk to the library to return a book and stop at the bank to deposit a check. As I left the building and crossed the parking lot to get to the Prospect Avenue sidewalk a special tree popped into my line of sight. It's not a very big tree and stands along the edge of the Montessori School grounds.

Growing up I always heard that seeing your first robin meant spring was coming....well this was my first harbinger of fall. She is pretty but I'm not in any hurry to see all the trees turn and then the winter temperatures arrive. I wonder what Mother Nature will have in store for us this year?

And Then Evening....

After dinner last night I went to sit out on our little deck. The heat and humidity of the last few days was gone so it was a perfect time to sit and enjoy the outside. I noticed the "hole" in the clouds with the lowering sun sending light through the openings.

A few minutes later I glanced up again and noticed movement. It was a huge dragonfly "invasion"! We'd seen this from our deck in Port Washington but I just happened to be at the right place at the right time tonight. 

My phone camera doesn't do it justice and they moved so fast....but you can see a few black "dots"! I watched for about ten minutes and saw hundreds and hundreds pass overhead. They were flying from east to west so seemed to "launch" off the apartment building's roof. Migrating dragonflies....lovely.

A nice nature start to my day....and a nice nature end.....

A Ray of Sunshine.....

I woke at 6:00 this morning....even a little early for when I was on Fenway's routine. But once I was awake I couldn't go back to sleep so quietly got out of bed. After only a week the first walk past the empty Fenway corner in our bedroom is still giving me damp eyes.

Dressing, brushing my teeth and grabbing my phone I walked out of the apartment and decided to go toward Lake Michigan today. The sky was overcast with a possibility of scattered showers in the forecast. As I approached the bluff I noticed sunshine yellow slicing through the cloud cover over the lake.

Crossing the street I walked right to the edge of the bluff and saw that within 30 seconds the light had changed and I was struck by the sun beams now reaching up toward the roof of the sky. It was beautiful and my morning reminder that there is beauty all around us, if we take the time to just look.

In the week since we kissed Fenway goodbye I have been basically looking down at the pavement as I take this morning walk.....it hurts not to see his silly little butt moving along in front of me. Today was a reminder that I need to look up....so I will.

My Therapy.....

Writing and sharing Fenway memories are, for me, a kind of therapy. I'm sure I'll move past this soon....but for now things keep occurring to me and they float around in my brain before making their way to the keyboard. 

As I got up in the middle of the night last night I glanced toward the now empty corner where Fenway's bed used to be. I would check him each time I walked past and cover him up if he's worked his way out of the fleece. Sometimes he would wake, quickly glance up at me, and immediately put his head back down to sleep.

Boston Terriers love to be covered up....and sometimes work hard with that flat little face to get their noses under the edge of a blanket so they can wiggle underneath. Fenway liked to be covered up whenever he was on the couch, our bed or a chair. He wanted to be covered at home, while visiting friends and while being Camper Boy. We could always find him by looking for the lump.

I miss those lumps.