I feel like I've had to send way too many condolence cards recently. Friends losing their husbands or a parent…..sometimes completely unexpectedly. Sometimes after a long life well lived. But still…..it's so hard to find the right words to express my sentiments and to acknowledge their loss.
But it's important to say something.
I saved a small pile of condolence cards I received after my mom died.....and a short time later I gathered another small pile in memory of my mother-in-law. I know, at the time, the cards and personal notes included did provide comfort. Even if it was a store-bought sentiment with just a personal signature.....I read the card. If it was a hand-written note sharing a memory or a story.....I read the note.
Some came to me from people I didn't really even know....or maybe I knew them years ago when I was a child. Some came from people who knew me but had never met my mom or mother-in-law. All came with the idea that someone recognized my loss and was thinking of me.
And those cards and notes were so appreciated....and somehow they did help just a little.
So when I get that phone call.....or that email....telling me of another loss I send the card. I think of my acquaintance, friend or family member and recognize they now have a hole in their hearts where a loved one used to reside. The hole will eventually "shrink".....but it will always be there.
A condolence message won't change that.....but it will help. I may not have just the right words.....but I really think any words are appreciated. "I'm so sorry...." or "I am thinking of you....." or "I remember the time....."
So I take a little time....and I send the words.
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