Another Sweet Reminder.....

My mother died in June 2010 when she was 89 years old. Not a day goes by when I don't think of her or remember her in some way. I guess this isn't all that unusual.

I have reminders all over our condo. I sit at her desk in the family room window and look out at Lake Michigan. I have one of her Swedish dala horses on our book shelf. It's bright orange so easily catches my eye. I have a needlework piece hanging in the same room and it used to be in her kitchen. I made a small quilt out of one of her old tablecloths. I kept her fall jacket and still wear it when the season is right. I have a small basket on my night stand that used to be hers....now it holds a nail file, my ear plugs and cuticle scissors. The oil painting she created after a trip to Sweden hangs in the hallway and a beautiful winter scene by Dale Wilson that used to compliment her dining room now hangs over our fireplace.

So there are lots of little things that often prompt her face to pop into my brain.

It happened again this morning. When she died, my sister and I organized a memorial gathering the evening before her funeral service. Many of her neighbors and friends came and shared hugs and memories with us and it helped to ease the heartache. Someone sent a lovely plant and it was up at the front of the room at the funeral home, near mom's casket. I decided to take it home with me.

I'm not much of a gardener and houseplants don't normally last very long.....usually succumbing to benign neglect. But I think this is some kind of a "cast iron" plant....a shot of large varigated green leaves, it sits in a basket next to the doors leading to the deck. I remember to water it maybe once a week or so....but it is very forgiving. If I forget to water it and notice that the leaves are really drooping, all I have to do is give it a healthy dose and the next day "she" is perky and green and happy all over again. She moved from our home in Bay View and settled in nicely at the condo.  And this plant, obviously, makes me remember my mother whenever I walk through the room and catch a glimpse.....or go out onto the deck.....or douse her with water.

Today, January 28, 2016 I suddenly noticed something new. She is blooming! There are at least five or six white "things" starting to open. Wow.....not only did I manage to keep my plant alive she seems to be thriving. Or sending me a middle-of-the-grey-winter hug from my mom.

Wow....yesterday it was bananas. Today my plant. Lovely.

Thinking About Bananas......

Isn't it odd how an activity will trigger a memory....one that can make you smile!? When I have cereal for breakfast I usually sprinkle on some dried cranberries, some fresh blueberries and about one-third of a banana cut in small pieces. Delish!

About ten or 12 years ago my mother-in-law was visiting. She flew in from Springfield, Massachusetts to spend a few days with us in Bay View. As I've probably stated in previous blogs, I "lucked out" in the mother-in-law department....she was simply the best. As she aged she coped with a variety of physical challenges....but usually with a big smile on her face.

A widow, she lived with macular degeneration for at least the last 20 years of her life.....she adapted well and with her usual optimism. The progress of the eye disease meant that slowly her life changed.....she had to stop doing needlepoint, she had to listen to books on tape instead of curling up with a good read, she had to buy a deck of cards with larger and bolder numbers so she could still enjoy bridge with her friends. She had to sit in the front seat for a movie or a concert....she had to get up very close to identify a friend's face. But she was brave, enthusiastic and enjoyed her life to the fullest.

Anyway - back to bananas. As we stood in the kitchen one morning I was fixing cereal for both of us. And I cut my banana as I always did - peeled it, sliced off a good hunk, then held it sideways in my hand cutting down through the middle in one direction and then made a second cut down the length of the fruit in the opposite direction. I continued to hold the banana now sliced-in-fourths while I cut pieces off the flat end. Maybe a bit hard to picture, but cutting the banana this way meant that each slice provided four small pieces to sprinkle over the cereal. It also meant an increased chance that you'd enjoy a bit of banana in almost every spoonful of cereal.

My mother-in-law was amazed. She'd never thought of that. I can still hear her laugh and appreciate her delight in this small new "method" of cutting up her morning banana. She talked about this for years!

And then I learned one more banana "trick" I wish I could have shared with her. Sometimes, maybe the banana isn't quite ripe enough, it is so hard to get the skin to "open" so you can peel it. I bend and bend the stem with no luck and finally resort to a knife. Well.....I think it was on Facebook....I now open bananas the way the monkeys do. From the stemless end. Works every time.

Mom would have loved this!

I Won't Go Out.......

It's cold outside.......really cold outside!  If wind chill had never been invented we might not feel quite as cold as we do....but it is cold outside! We don't have a lot of snow yet but the air hurts your face when you go out and you can see each breath. Not fun. Really not fun to be a dog and have to go out several times.  Almost impossible when you are Fenway.....a dog who has no undercoat to keep him warm and so he has to wear a sweater or his "snow suit". Both garments make him feel less than dignified.

I won't go out. I'm not going out there. You can't make me.

Nope - I don't have to go out there and you can't make me. I am perfectly comfortable on the couch and I am not going out there.

I'm hiding, you can't find me and I am not ready to go out. I can hold it.

                                                

 I am resting with Dad and no...I am NOT going outside. I don't have to be a "good boy" yet.

                                     
 Forget it. There is no way I am coming out from under these covers to go out there. I can still hold it.

                                     

Fenway is a warm weather kind-of-guy - he's dreaming of racing at the beach. Oh well only a few months to go.

Don't Ever Change Your Mind.......

Tonight we can watch another presidential debate.....results of which may or may  not weed out a few of the candidates running for the highest office in the land. And I'm sure, either tonight or during the analysis of each candidates comments we will hear at some point the term "flip flop".

It seems I can remember in elementary school, while studying history, we read that people in Europe used to believe that the world was flat....and if you sailed out far enough toward the horizon you would fall off the edge. It was, at some point, also common belief that the sun revolved around the earth. People thought cancer was contagious. Until telescopes were invented and improved there was no knowledge of solar systems other than ours. And so on......and so on.

I guess my point is that knowledge changes opinions. Aging and life experience changes opinions. When I was 16 I'm pretty sure that I "knew" 45 was elderly. The principals I was so sure of in my twenties and thirties morphed a bit as I continued to raise my kids, live with my husband, work in the real world.

I learned new facts. I met people with different opinions and life experience who shared that information with me....and sometimes, not always, their conversations caused me to re-think my long-held convictions. I read books and I questioned my world and I questioned my beliefs. Some held strong....others changed a bit or changed a lot.

I guess that means I am a "flip-flopper". But I'd rather be that....someone who is willing to admit that in a changing world, new knowledge and new information may provide me with a real chance to change my opinions, than someone who is stuck and refuses to recognize that he/she may be incorrect. Rather than be labeled a "flip-flopper" they proudly state they've never wavered in their opinions. To me that's not necessarily a good thing at all.

Growth, age, knowledge, experience can equal change and intelligent discussion  - and "flip flopping" on issues.

We either accept that, or go back to thinking the world is flat.

Blah.......

Well this was the weekend that all the holiday decorations moved from walls and tables and everywhere else they happily glittered and went back into their boxes until next year. I love having our little place decorated for Christmas. Having our Santa collection on display, our little tree in the window, the lights and greens on top of the armoir all really do help make the season bright.....and happy.....and colorful.

But now it's back to normal. And our normal is nice too.....just not quite as cheerful. Ah well....there will be next year.

Jump Start the Day......

Dave gave me a Fit Bit for my birthday. Sadly this was four days after my foot surgery. My activity level was severely restricted and counting steps to get to 10,000 was basically impossible......never mind a constant reminder that I was spending a LOT of time sitting on my you-know-what. So I gave it back to him so he could use it.

Now I am at the point where I am wearing gym shoes and no longer using the walker. I can begin to get around more easily and try to increase my exercise level. So Dave bought me a new Fit Bit and spent some time getting it set up. This seemed to involve sitting with my phone and the Fit Bit next to the computer for about 30 minutes while using a few choice four-letter words. I stayed at the sewing machine in the kitchen until he presented me with my new arm band only to discover it was too small.....very tight on my wrist.

So he drove back to Target to exchange it for the next size. Lots of confusion ensued because even though the device had been on sale the day before it no longer was on sale so it took him several trips between electronic department and customer service to get the whole thing straightened out. I stayed at home with my sewing machine and my music.

Then, back to the computer with my phone and the newest Fit Bit and the computer and more four letter words......we were living Bill Murray's film, "Ground Hog Day".

But ta da......finally all set and on my wrist and beginning to help me stay inspired to walk more and more and more. Except somehow I seem to be walking in my sleep. The gadget resets to zero somewhere around midnight.....but when I wake up between 6:30 and 7:00ish in the morning I discover I've traveled anywhere from 65 to 412 steps. This can't be right....or am I sleep walking? A huge case of restless leg syndrome?

Dave was going to try to re-set the whole thing but frankly it's not worth the effort or the frustration. I'll just figure that those "ghost steps" give me a head start on the goal for the day!

Fulfilling My Purpose.....

There is a television ad running in our area. Basically it focuses on a woman who finds out she has a life-threatening illness and talks about the specialized care she receives at an area hospital. And toward the end of the spot she says something like "I am determined to fulfill my purpose in life". Now I can't seem to get that phrase out of my brain......it's on a continuous "loop".....fulfilling my purpose, fulfilling my purpose.......

And I have to wonder what is my purpose? I'm 69 so I better figure this out pretty soon. I guess I've just never thought of the big picture. I didn't have a master plan. I went to college, met Dave, got married, mothered two children, worked at a variety of part-time jobs as Dave accepted one career challenge after another. We moved around a lot so I made and re-made a house/home at each location and supported Dave's efforts as he worked hard to provide a good life for our family. I began to sell real estate full time+ when our son was a junior in high school to put both kids through college, I was in charge of our adult social connections in each of our home towns, I volunteered. 

But what was my purpose? Maybe I need to stop thinking about the big picture.....and think about the small. Our kids "turned out great" and are independent, accomplished and raising families of their own. Our four grandsons are amazing......but I had little, other than genetics, to do with that!

Somehow the word "purpose" throws me off......it seems so "important" and implies much more life-planning than I ever did.

Oh well....it's been a good life, so far. I feel like I've left the communities where we lived a little better by contributing while we were there.....made a small ripple in a big pond.

I guess I'll go watch another commercial until some other random thought becomes an ear-worm in my brain.

Breaking My Promise.....

Uh oh.....the new 20th season of The Bachelor starts on television TONIGHT. I am not going to watch it. I am not. It's always like watching a train wreck.....horribly fascinating. But I am not going to tune in.

And I don't want to hear terms like "I need some alone time", or "fantasy suite", or "he's so hot!" ever again. Those phrases should be banned from the vocabulary.

And the shirtless scenes, and the swimming pools, and the limosines, and the mansions, and the "realistic" dates. Nope....Dave never took me up in a hot air balloon, we never got to Paris until we'd been married for about 35 years, we didn't have a date on a private yacht in the Virgin Islands. Most of our dates involved $2 pitchers of beer and a pizza and dancing at The Spot in Ripon, Wisconsin, or a movie and the one theater in our college town, or study "dates".

But here we are....just celebrated our 48th....so I did find love. Yes, we did meet at a bar in Ripon after probably one (or two) too many glasses of beer......but I wasn't competing with 20+ other young women and he was a good dancer!

On the other hand, my sewing machine table does sit in the kitchen when I am working on a quilt and I do have a quilt top to start tonight and the small TV will be sitting right there on the counter and there probably isn't much else on that I want to watch.......so maybe......maybe....

Oh what the heck....how can I miss season 20!?