Not Me......At Least I Don't Think So.....

For weeks our national conversation has been revolving around women stepping up to say they were abused by a man. It's making the news because the reports are about men in the public eye.....film/television/politics/media etc. and because so many women are saying "Me too!"

The widespread reports and the swell of support for the victims got me to thinking about my own life. I can't recall an experience where a man made me feel uncomfortable, or pressed me with unwanted physical contact or made innappropriate comments.

Well....there was that one time in fifth or sixth grade when a neighbor's boy (about a year older than me) pulled down his pants and "danced" across the basement recreation room with his little penis bouncing up and down. Big smile on his face....and I buried my face in a pillow. End of event. I never said anything about it because his mom was one of my mom's best friends....and they were a very nice family. The middle-school boy was just being a jerk.  But as I think about this memory I realize he was also exerting his "power" over me. I felt helpless.

And then....come to think of it....there was the dreaded walk up the steps to get to the college cafeteria for lunch every day. The guys from one of the fraternities (one full of "jocks") would take their seats in the window wells at the landing (about ten or so could fit in the space) and make comments about the young women as we walked up the steps and turned to pass them. At the time I don't think it really bothered me....I took it as sort of a compliment. Maybe because I was receiving mostly positive comments. Today I might think of it differently. Now I wonder about the college girls who walked up the steps, not to "positive" cat-calls but to more critical comments. Again.....this was sort of a power play. The jocks "owned" the stairway.

I can't think of a time where anything happened in a work situation. I had a variety of supervisors in a variety of settings as we moved around for Dave's career and they were all supportive and never condescending or threatening in any way.

The reports we see now are disgusting and sickening.....and they make me sad/mad. But it is interesting and hopeful seeing the groundswell of support that may lead to long-term change in the way men treat women. Parents everywhere may take much more time discussing acceptable behavior with their children.....what's OK and what's not.

Now if only someone would talk to 45.