That Seesaw.....

Do you remember school and park playgrounds when we were growing up in the 1950's? The ones with the old fashioned "monkey bars" and the slides and the wooden swings and the seesaws? Those long planks with a seat at each end and a small handle to grab. Two people, one at each end, would take turns pushing off from the ground to send the opposite end sailing up and then back down so the second participant could reach the top on her side. We'd do it for long stretches of time....talking and probably singing some goofy nursery rhyme along the way. Then picking spinters out of our shorts as we walked away.

Seesaws don't seem to be around any more....I'm sure they represent all kinds of safety hazards that are no longer an acceptable part of childhood.  But for some reason, yesterday, the memory of a seesaw popped into my brain. Yesterday, Tuesday, was a crash and burn sort of day for me. Monday had been just fine, projects in the condo, walking the dog, watching some TV and planning a dinner. Just a normal sort of 2020 busyness day. An "up" day.

Wednesday I woke to feeling "down" and dark and just tired, frustrated and frankly angry about this America....our world in general. Too many stories of new COVID cases, stories of states and towns starting to open up with businesses "going back to normal", protestors yelling (or worse) at officials because they didn't want to wear face masks. The news that 45's COVID Response Team would be finished soon and we were pivoting to a new committee tasked with making American great again....or whatever. Just a never ending drum beat that echoes and echoes and changes and changes and is wearing me out.

Certainly I am not alone. And once again I try to remind myself that I'm fine, my family and friends are fine.....that I am very fortunate and have everything that I need. This will get better. But some days I just can't seem to talk myself out of the "down". I just have to go there and wallow. Hang out in the bedroom reading and watching TV....not interacting with anyone (except Fenway). Growling at Dave when he pokes his head through the door. I just wallowed on Tuesday.

Today is Wednesday. The sun is shining and even though the news hasn't changed for the better the bright day helps. And getting busy on a new order for face masks emerses me in color. 25 more face masks.....damn I wish no one needed these.

I'll get back on the seesaw tomorrow, and the day after that. What choice does anyone have except to enjoy the up days and tolerate the downs and hope the downs don't get any "down-er".