Goodbye.....

I wake up in the morning and for just a second I forget what happened yesterday. And then it's back. Our little family lost someone very dear to us. She kept cancer at bay for over four years......but yesterday afternoon, with beloved family members at her side, she slipped away. And the earth didn't tilt, people didn't stop their activities, pundits kept on pundit-ing, today the sun rose in the east.....life went on.

It always seems a little strange that one family's grief is not shared by everyone. The fact is that basically no one, except our family and her huge circle of friends, even knows that she is gone. I guess that's why grief is such a lonely experience....no one can really share it with you because everyone experiences the loss in their own way. And somehow grief in the time of COVID just seems even more raw. We have to socially distance and even trying to give a loving hug to another family member has to be analyzed and planned.

We met this special woman when her son fell in love with our daughter and they married. So we were "in-laws".....family through marriage. Two families merged and combined....to share the good times and now the sad. 

A few weeks ago, when decisions were made to go home and stop treatment she made a comment to her daughter that keeps floating through my mind. She asked "Did you see the texts from your dad?" This question was met with a little confusion as the man she referred to, her husband, had been dead for a number of years. "No mom, what did they say?" A small smile and then her answer, "I can't tell you, but it was good!" I think back on that quick exchange now and hope that it brings a little comfort to her loved ones. For me it's another "proof" of my belief in heartstrings that connect people even from one dimension to the next. The invisible texts were telling her that he was waiting for her.....and their faith would carry her through to be with him and find something good.

No one is sure yet just how or if we can gather to celebrate her life and say a formal goodbye. Again, the time of COVID makes this all more complex and stressful than it should be. 

But we will each remember her in our own way....and miss her in our own way. 

She leaves a hole in our hearts. 

Goodbye special lady.....goodbye.