What Makes You Decide??

Driving to the city last night we passed about a dozen mini-malls along the way. Strip malls right along the road. Looking out the window it occurred to me that at least half of these shopping areas featured a large mattress store.

I've been married almost 47 years and began to think about just how often we'd purchased a new mattress and how many people in Milwaukee or in the US or the world for that matter are buying new mattresses on a regular basis. Buying them frequently enough for these large stores to pay their rent, pay their employees and make a decent profit.

Since we took two years out to live on a boat and sold everything, including the mattress we had at the time, the way I add it up I think we may be on our forth mattress. Maybe our third. I don't know if that's typical?? But somehow buying 3 or 4 mattresses over a 47 year period doesn't seem to justify all the stores that specialize in this item alone. Never mind the fact that you can buy a new mattress at most furniture stores, big box stores and right off the truck delivered from North Carolina. I googled "how long to keep a mattress" and got some guidelines. No hard and fast rules.

Maybe I better go check ours. It still seems comfortable and we do rotate it once in a while. But still…it's probably about 8 years old now. Hmmmmm…….ah well, we sleep at night. I think we'll keep it for a while and just keep driving past all those specialty stores.

Just Not Enough……

OK so our Christmas celebration is over. Build up….build up….build up…then "crash". Amazing how each year the times passes so quickly…..the months fly by…. the count down to December 25th begins…..and then suddenly it's over.

Dave and I had fun celebrating with a sleep-over with our daughter, son-in-law and their two boys here in Wisconsin. It was a grey Christmas….not a snowflake in sight. But Meg and Mike's house was warm and inviting, the tree was beautiful and Christmas Eve meal delicious. The evening hours "dragged" until the boys were sleepy…..lights were turned out and everyone was snug in their beds.

And then Christmas morning - yes Evan and Zach….Santa DID find the house! Packages, paper, ribbons, carols on the radio, dogs with really squeaky toys, activity, more food and more fun. It was a lovely time to be together.

But our son and family celebrated in Washington State, my sister and family are skiing out West, my brother-in-law and family gathered in New Hampshire. Our little family is spread far and wide so we never get to celebrate this holiday together.

And as much fun as we had with our Wisconsin crew…..I guess it just isn't "enough". We wanted to be close enough to give everyone a holiday hug. To say,"I love you" in person…. share a meal, open a thoughtful gift.

Ah well….we were close in heart, and connected by telephone. I guess that will have to do. Merry Christmas to all the special and much-loved members of our family…..may we all find ways to spend time together in 2015 in spite of the distances involved.

Someone Else Said it Best….

Just after I posted my last entry I was looking at my Facebook page. A special friend from Maryland posted the following quote:

"Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place."  -  Rumi

It was the timing of her post that sort of caught me by surprise….and reading it helped. Memories heal - thank you dear friend.

:-)

Just Where Did THAT Come From?

Grief is a funny thing - sometimes it smacks you in the face when you least expect it.

It's another gray day here in Wisconsin - I don't think we've seen the sun in more than a week. But it's also a very busy time of year and the holiday decorations around the condo brighten things up quite a bit.

Dave and I had a busy morning down at UWM in Milwaukee. Then back home for lunch. Then time to walk Fenway. Changed into my jeans and walking shoes. Put Fenway in his sweater and attached his leash. Made sure I had a plastic bag in my coat pocket. Grabbed my keys and off we went.

My parka used to belong to my mother-in-law….I helped her pick it out when she visited about a year before she died. It's a nice jacket and I like it. Keeps me warm and feels sort of like a "hug".

Anyway - I wasn't thinking about that as I walked. Just watching Fenway's little legs pacing down the path and planning a quilt that is beginning to form in the back of my brain. (Working with colorful fabric also helps to ward off the winter grays!) Thinking about fabric made me remember that I still have some remnants of material from my mother-in-law's beautiful curtains. When she died I brought them home and used some of the yardage to make three quilts for her New England grandchildren. They turned out beautifully and I look forward to working with the rest of the fabric.

That made me remember a little quilt I made out of one of my mom's kitchen table cloths after she died. It sits folded on top of the cabinet in our bedroom and I see a glimpse of it every day.

Suddenly I was "missing moms" and my eyes were very, very damp. Lump in the throat. Holiday time coming and they both so loved to celebrate. It's been several years since our moms died….but funny, sometimes it just seems like it was yesterday. And the sadness hits…..just for a few moments….but it hits just the same.

OK - One More Holiday Memory - Maybe the Last??

And after the little tree is decorated, the Santa Claus collection distributed, the gingerbread house finished there is one other happy holiday decoration that greets me every morning.

Megan created this Christmas angel when she was in third grade. It's in an inexpensive frame but it sparkles just the same. In one house it hung above the kitchen fireplace, in another it was over my stove. Here in the condo it fits perfectly over the kitchen sink.

So my happy little pink Christmas angel smiles at me in the morning when I fill the coffee pot, in the afternoon when I load the dishwasher and during dinner prep and last thing at night when we turn off the lights. I love her.

I'm Not Answering the Phone….

It's happened again and it started with a short text stating "We can't meet for lunch. I am in the hospital."

This short note was from a very good friend. He's having surgery tomorrow. To complicate matters he contracted CDIF while in the hospital, has been on intravenous antibiotic for a week hoping to avoid the surgery and while the doctors were running tests they informed him that he has an unusual form of lymphoma too.

What a crap week.

Another good friend just had one kidney removed because of a cancerous tumor. His surgery went very well and he's well on the road to recovery. Thankfully symptoms brought him to a hospital while the tumor was contained and he can live very nicely with one kidney.

I remember, years ago, going for my annual physical and talking to my doctor in Delaware about my chances for breast cancer. My mother had just had a mastectomy but I think she was in her 70's when she had the operation. My doctor's blunt assessment was, "You are a woman. You have breasts. If you live long enough you will have breast cancer. Your mother's surgery, since it happened when she was a senior citizen, does not increase your risk." Nice.

My friends say,"We are at that age…..the age when friends start experiencing really difficult physical challenges." I don't want to be at "that age". I don't want our friend to have to go through what he has to go through. To have to undergo surgery. And then start with chemo or radiation or whatever the doctors decide will address the lymphoma. Surgery first….then treatment for cancer. What a great winter season he will have.

But he is a strong man, with a loving wife and they have a strong marriage. They have their adult children around to offer love and support. They have a wide group of caring friends who will be there to provide shoulders to cry on and arms to encircle them. As his wife says, "We will get through this!"

But crap…..just crap.

The Best Book?

I love to read - always have. And I love my monthly book club discussions. And I love it when someone recommends a good book.

When I saw my sister at Thanksgiving she loaned me All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr. She said it was one of the best books ever and one where she would not have changed a single sentence. Coming from Susan this is a major recommendation.

I just finished it. And I know it's a book that will stay with me for a long time. With 530 pages it's obvious I can't sum it up in just a couple of sentences. But the story starts at the beginning of World War II and ends in 1974. Two of the main characters are a young blind girl living with her father in Paris, and a young German orphan conscripted into Hitler's army. And radio plays a third important character in the novel.

Once a bookseller at Barnes and Noble told members of my book club to always discuss a book's title and always discuss the first sentence. So I do that in my mind even if the book is not one we've chosen for our meetings.

I kept thinking about the title of this book as I read chapter after chapter. There seem to be so many levels of light - seen and unseen. But it was on page 529 where "my" explanation jumped off the page.
It's a long paragraph but part of it says: "And is it so hard to believe that souls might also travel those paths? That her father and Etienne and Madame Manec and the German boy named Werner Pfenning might harry the sky in flocks, like egrets, like terns, like starlings? That great shuttles of souls might fly about, faded but audible if you listen closely enough? They flow above the chimneys, ride the sidewalks, slip through your jacket and shirt and breastbone and lungs, and pass out through the other side, the air a library and the record of every life lived, every sentence spoken, every word transmitted all still reverberating within it."

Those sentences pretty much sum up my feelings about the "after"…. and how every person we've ever met, every loved one we've ever lost, every friend near and far, every interaction with others shapes who we are. And my "they" brush against me even after death. The energy, the memory, their light is out there…..a part of the current of life. At least for me.

I loved this book - and I'm now getting out of my pajamas and heading to the library to see what else I can find by Anthoy Doerr.

Annual Pop Pop Project…….Enjoying it While We Can

Several years ago Dave started making gingerbread houses with our two youngest grandsons. They live close enough to enjoy the activity and look forward to it every year ….  so far!

Dave buys a kit and assembles the house before the boys arrive - then they are in charge of the decorating. Candy, candy, candy…what's not to like! The fact that we "hide" some kind of surprise inside the house seems to add to the fun.

Their holiday tradition is to take the gingerbread house home with them where it decorates their kitchen. Until December 26th when house meets hammer and they can then enjoy pieces of gingerbread, the candy, the icing and whatever is hidden inside.

So far it's been fun for them and I know Dave really looks forward to the December time with Evan and Zach. But when I look at this year's pictures I'm beginning to think they may be "outgrowing" this tradition.   :-(

Then again….maybe if we continue to figure out fun surprises for the inside….they will "humor" Pop Pop for a few more years. Happy Holidays special Wisconsin grandsons - you help make the season bright!

Count Down to Santa……..

It's mid December and the condo is decorated, gifts are wrapped and everyone is in a waiting "mode"….including Fenway.

While he usually shreds any kind of stuffed toys…..he somehow seems to understand that this stuffed toy deserves respect. He cuddles up but doesn't do anything naughty!

The Gift that Keeps on Giving…

We were living in Freeport, Illinois at the time. Todd was in junior high school….or maybe a freshman. Our neighbor had a wood shop in his basement and enjoyed making all kinds of things.

Todd disappeared for a few hours at a time during the weeks prior to Christmas. And one day he came home with a gift for us.

Todd, with a little help from our friend, made each of the characters for the creche - it's simple and that's just how it should be. We loved it then and we take it out each year, remembering how proud he was of his gift and how perfectly it adds to our holiday decor.

So the set comes out of its box in early December and with it come the memories.

A Touch of Red……

I started collecting Santas many years ago. It's not a very unique collection - lots of people gather Santas for the holidays. Dave and I had fun finding different shapes, sizes and personalities. At one point we had well over 100.

Then we moved onto the boat and I only kept the best of the best. Once we came back to being "dirt dwellers" I started again…..adding just a touch of red to our decor starting in early December. It's just a happy thing to do as the days outside get shorter. The leaves are off the trees and everything in the mid-west just looks grey and brown. With a little red the inside of our house/condo gets a little brighter.

And decorating our new space for the first time this holiday season it's fun to put our familiar Santas in new places and group them in slightly different arrangements. They all seem new again. They sit on the dining room table, on the fireplace mantel. They perch on a book case and surround the television. They are happily bringing color to all corners of our condo.

Happy Holidays - Happy Santas!

Trying to "Unsubscribe"….

When email was "invented" I loved it! Couldn't wait to get to my mailbox and connect with friends and family spread all over the country. And at work - it was a tool that helped me all day, every day!

Now that I'm retired I still enjoy checking email in the morning….but I don't hear from nearly as many friends. I guess most of the civilized world has moved on to Twitter or Instagram or whatever. Shorter messages??? Easier ways to spread videos??? I don't know because I'm still stuck on email.

And I do still love it. I'll hear from a friend in Massachusetts or North Carolina. Sometimes some friends who live (at least part of the year) in Florida and family in Washington State. My email connections are in Indiana and Illinois…and some right down in Milwaukee.

Then there are the dozens of others. My new friends at Home Depot, Sailrite, Wayfair, various insurance agencies and National Geographic. Almost daily emails from Fidelity Investments, Connecting Threads and Travelocity etc. etc.

I understand why I am getting a lot of these - but many of the others are a complete mystery. I have no idea how I got on their lists. But now, instead of quickly deleting, I scroll to the bottom and look for the SMALL print that says "click here if you wish to unsubscribe" and I click.

So far I think I've gotten rid of about 20……progress I guess.

One More View of a Few Days on the Farm…..

And yet another Thanksgiving tradition is the morning walk - down Claudia and Rob's driveway to the cemetery about a mile away. Anyone who wants to come is welcome - but usually, in the morning, it is the women and the dogs. (If we do it again later in the day we sometimes attract a few of the guys.) It's a beautiful and peaceful walk. Claudia told me this Thanksgiving that she's been taking this walk for about 25 years! Day after day she walked first thing in the morning, or as soon as she got home from work.

It's an easy route. You leave the house…

 walk past the pond…

 and then down next to the barn …

and continue down the driveway…

You go along the road, talking and laughing and reminiscing. Calling the dogs if they wander too far. Sometimes you see some of the cattle…

And you turn around at the cemetery….

…and retrace your route up the road…

It's quiet, peaceful and beautiful any time of year. If I lived on The Farm I would take that walk too…..and I would enjoy it every time.

.......Oh Yes....A Little MORE Silliness

One Thanksgiving "tradition" that somehow developed over the years is tasting all kinds of bourbon in order to decide which brand is best. Frankly this is a contest that the men in the family judge with great enthusiasm....most of the women seem to stick to the wine.

This year the bottles were lined up and waiting….when googly eyes "attacked"!

I'm not sure which brand "won"….but I do know that the bottles were basically empty by the time we left.

And Sometimes Silliness Ensues…..

This year Thanksgiving with my family was the best. We drove down to my cousin Claudia's farm in southern Indiana. She and her husband, Rob, raised their family there….along with cows, chickens, dogs and cats. They even had a peacock and a parrot for awhile and who knows what else. There is a frog pond, lots of turtles and some REALLY big black snakes on the property. (Keep in mind that this is my cousin who grew up in a Chicago bungalow on the South Side - on a lot that was probably about 50' x 100'. And now she has a huge garden, gets fresh eggs from her hens and I've seen her chase a herd of huge black cattle out of her vegetable garden by flapping a dishtowel and yelling "Shooooo cow!")

Anyway - twenty of us gathered for this very traditional Thanksgiving complete with turkey, corn pudding, cranberry sauce, potatoes, stuffing, green beans four kinds of pies etc. etc. etc.  The serving table was "groaning" as were we after enjoying the feast. Four cousins from Colorado, Illinois, Indiana and Wisconsin.

Claudia and Rob have hosted this gathering for years - and Dave and I are lucky when we are able to make the trip. As the family grows, the house seems to s-t-r-e-t-c-h to accommodate more and more of us - and Rob and Claudia welcome all of us with open arms. (This year we brought our own bedroom…we slept in our little RV!) The fun began as we gathered on Tuesday evening with more family members driving down on Wednesday.

But the silliness really started when Claudia's daughter, son-in-law, sister-in-law and who knows who else was involved (after several glasses of wine) decided to decorate the place with goggly eyeballs! Not sure where this idea came from….but they may have just started a whole new Thanksgiving family tradition. I came in from the RV, opened the refrigerator on Wednesday morning and found silliness staring back at me.

Honestly there were eyeballs everywhere! Staring at you from the bathroom mirror, stuck onto family photographs, sitting on bananas and tomatoes.

Our family group always enjoys this holiday together - but somehow, this year was even more special than usual. And I think the eyeballs had something to do with it.

:-)

Watts to Ferguson.........Sad Repetitons

I was a psychology major in college......no real plan for after graduation, but I found the whole field of psychology to be very interesting. And I figured maybe I could use the information learned to figure out my one-day husband and kids.

And I do remember that I wrote a term paper for one class, when I was a junior, about the riots that took place in Watts in 1965. I don't remember anything much about the paper, or even what caused that event in the first place. I remember doing research, reading articles and being sad/fascinated and writing a long paper. I also remember, being raised in a lilly-white upper class suburb outside Chicago, having a difficult time wrapping my head around the black/white divide. The distance between the haves and have-nots just seemed so very "foreign" and wrong to me.

How do you move forward if you have no hope? How do you focus on a good education for your children when no one in your family, for generations, have ever had the advantage of a highschool, never mind college diploma? How do you parent successfully when you have no roll models to demonstrate good parenting? How do you find meaningful and well-paid work.....when there are no opportunities?

I have a good friend from highschool who lives in Ferguson. She and her husband have lived there and worked in the community for years. They love their home, they love their neighbors and friends and community associates. They are Ferguson Proud.....Ferguson Strong and now, I know, Ferguson Sad.

Watts in 1995.....Ferguson 2014....with so many other sad examples in between. Thanksgiving is tomorrow.....many of us will it around tables groaning with bounty. Thankful for what we have. America the beautiful, America the Land of opportunity, America where people are free......equal. America where sometimes, maybe often, sad history repeats itself.

Strange Birthday "Cards"…..

Snail mail is nice right now - birthday cards arriving! It is fun to open, read and re-connect with friends and family who put stamps and address on the envelope and sent the colorful cards off to me.

And Facebook is fun - friends on my timeline are sending good wishes. Also a nice way to celebrate my day!

But Princess Cruise Line??? Ok….I understand. We are booking a cruise to Alaska for our whole family next summer. To do so I had to enter names, birthdates etc., etc., etc. So today I got a special electronic birthday card from the folks at Princess. You click on it and a big cartoon cruise ship cruises from port to port and I think it is saying "Happy Birthday" in lots of different languages. Then at the end there is a personal written note suggesting I enjoy my day.

Ummmm…..can you say MARKETING? I somehow know I will be getting an annual birthday card from my new friend, Princess Cruises, for the rest of my life. Even if I never book another cruise.

Oh well…..good wishes…..I'm happy to accept them from any source….I guess.

Traditions…..

I don't like to cook - and I certainly don't like to bake. Can't remember the last time I made any kind of cookies/cake/pie. Dave always said my brownies could be used as paving stones. OK….OK…. everyone has unique talents. Kitchen-related-anything is NOT one of mine.

I do make dinner for us most evenings and I do enjoy having people over for an easy meal. I have some delicious go-to-recipes that never fail. So it's not like I never cook….I just choose to do as little as possible.

Except for my mother's lemon bars. Those are in the oven. We leave tomorrow for Thanksgiving at my Cousin Claudia's farm….so the lemon bars are in the oven. I can smell the lovely citrus scent from the TV room. I can sense the memories flooding back.

My mom always made her famous lemon bars for her friends at a PEO meeting or church circle gathering. She made them for us when we'd visit from out-of-town. She made a pan to bring along for holiday gatherings. Lemon bars = Beth Clark = good times = delicious = love.

When mom died a few years ago it was my sister's idea to print out her recipe on happy yellow paper and have one at each place setting when we gathered for lunch after the memorial service at church.  She and her daughter baked pans of them to be served that day. It was amazing how many of the people attending came up to us to say: "These are just the way I remembered! They are wonderful!"

And as Susan wrote in the recipe, "If your batch is a little tart, that's perfect. Mom didn't like them too sweet."

Mine probably don't exactly equal my mom's - but still…..they are baking and the scent fills our condo. 2009 was the last Thanksgiving mom was at Claudia's and she brought them - this time it's on me.

Happy to do it, happy to remember.

:-)

Friendship - Redux……

Somewhere in my reading history I found the following quote: "True friendship takes us by the hand and reminds us we are not alone in the journey."

I just spend a few days with four true friends. We all met each other in 1964 at Ripon College, joined Alpha Xi Delta sorority as members of the pledge class of 1965. I'm not sure Alpha Xi is still on the campus, or even around as a national sorority - but there are six of us who are possibly closer friends now than we were at the time.

We re-connected at our college reunion in 1994 - had such a wonderful time that we decided we have to do this again! And so began an almost annual gathering - at each other's homes or in places where one friend had time-share opportunities….for me it's my annual "therapy" weekend….necessary for my mental health!

We women, now all retired, are very different. We share some life experiences….but each also have unique families, histories and stories to share. Maybe that's part of what makes the reunions so very special. We fly to the gatherings from Florida or North Carolina. Drive from Chicago or Wisconsin - depending on the plans for the year. This time I was the hostess and we rented a three-bedroom B & B in Hales Corners. Sadly one member could not attend….and the rule is, if you MISS a year, we TALK about you! :-)

Arriving on Tuesday afternoon the conversations and laughter begins, the wine flows, the memories come flooding back - we finish each other's sentences. And, no matter where we are, we explore. The art museum in West Bend, our new condo in Port Washington, the ladies bathroom on the 23rd floor of the Pfister Hotel! We had coffee and conversation for several hours in the Pfister lobby bar, a delicious dinner at a restaurant in the Third Ward and attended one hysterical play at The Chamber Theater.

We spent some time on a "craft" activity - always another cause for laughter and togetherness with various degrees of creativity.

We spent one evening discussing everything from health issues (why does this topic begin to take up more time at every gathering!?), politics and religion, the state of the world, our kids, our grandkids….an A to Z kind of thoughtful evening's discussion.

Next year is Chicago - not sure of the date yet…..but I will be there. I don't want to miss it…and I don't want them talking about ME!

So here's to my college friends - Susie, Judy, Linda and Diane - Donna we missed you!

Not Quite Connected......

My grandparents lived in Antioch, Illinois while I was growing up. They had a small house on Voltz Lake and we spent many family Sundays up there. They had a big wooden telephone mounted on the wall…..it was a party line and if a specific ring tone sounded that meant the call was for them. When you heard "their" ring, you picked up the black ear piece, held it to your ear and stood at the phone to talk into the black mouth piece. (Other ring combinations meant the call was for another families on the party line….and we were not supposed to pick up or listen!) And certainly long distance calls were quick and usually meant some kind of emergency.

Now look at today……a personal cell phone attached to everyone's ear…..including mine! I like my cell phone, it's handy and keeps me connected through conversation or by a quick text. But I also don't really "miss" living without it once in awhile.....if I miss a call, I miss a call.

So maybe that's why today it wasn't until about 6:00 in the evening that I realized I had not even seen my phone all day. Where was it? Had anyone been trying to reach me? I asked Dave to dial my number and we heard a quiet ring echoing from the family room. It went to voice mail and stopped ringing...so he dialed again while we searched. A quiet, far-away kind of ring......ahhhh....there is was. Folded up in the hide-a-bed! I was sitting on it much of the day.....no real problem.....no missed calls.

No one even knew I wasn't connected!

One More Time - Hello Out There!

I started this blog in January - just because I enjoy writing and had the time to try it. In February, after only a few posts I noticed that I had a handful of international "followers" and wondered about that!

Today, just for fun, I checked all my "stats". At this point I've had 73 visits from Turkey, 65 from Poland, 52 from Germany, 51 from the Ukraine, 21 from Russia, 19 from Romania and 11 from China. And a grand total of 1692 visits from friends in the US. I also know a friend in Japan checks in once in a while - but for some reason she did not make the list.

No one leaves comments so I don't have any idea who all of these over-the-pond readers are. I do wonder how they stumbled on my little ramblings and if some visit frequently or it was just a one-time-accident kind of thing. How did they "find" me???

Well anyway - hello world!

Who Are You and Why Are You on MY Path??

We take Fenway for a walk every day - except when it's raining because if it is he refuses to leave the building's lobby.

Sometimes we walk along the marina or out around Rotary or Coal Dock Park. Other times we trek to the library or post office. Sometimes we walk up the hill to the park on the bluffs overlooking Lake Michigan. It depends on our mood, the weather and any errands we might need to do along the way.

Mostly we walk up the bike path. It's a nice paved path with plenty of good bushes and trees and grasses full of interesting-to-a-dog smells. Other people and pets to pass along the way. And if it's windy the trees offer some protection even though the leaves are down now. Some times we walk the mile up to the community gardens and come back home by reversing direction.

Sometimes we travel about 1/3 of the way to the gardens and cross over the stream on the new bridge the city installed recently. That way we can come home through some woods and then an open field with new things to smell and new bushes to "claim" with that last drop of Fenway pee.

Aside from other dogs Fenway eagerly looks for squirrels, or a rabbit that races ahead and disappears in the underbrush. Earlier in the year we would see chipmunks.

Now we spot something much bigger….almost every day.  This new possible "friend" makes Fenway stop in his tracks and strain against the leash. You can almost hear him saying "Oh please just let me go! I know I can catch this one!"

It seems we have a mini-herd of deer just outside our door. We find them along the path, and in Veteran's Park and crossing the road. Fun to watch - and this fall we've spotted two bucks.

So Fenway thinks he's ready to make some new friends - we think not.

A Change In Weekend Plans…..

Well we were supposed to have friends over for dinner tonight and there is a movie we hoped to see on Sunday.

But I am "enjoying" the Mother of all head colds complete with "productive" cough - yuch. Dave has a photo he took at the zoo - a lion sleeping.

I guess I'll just follow his lead and go back to bed. At least I have a good book to read - if I can stay awake.

Crap.

It's Just A Different Day….

When you are lucky enough to live on or near a body of water the view is ever changing. Sun, wind, clouds, ripples, waves, foam, colors….every time you look at it, the water looks new and different.

Our condo has a small deck overlooking Lake Michigan - and we never forget how lucky we are to be able to just walk to the window and watch the water. Maybe we have a special appreciation for it after living aboard our sailboat for two years. Every night, at anchor, we were surrounded by water….and it was beautiful. We never tired of watching the water.

About a week ago we had a storm with winds clocking from the north east with gusts up to 50 mph. The force of the wind did amazing things to "our" lake….and during the day hundreds of people came to watch. We drove around our little town to get views from all directions. Lake Michigan was furious.

Yesterday it was sunny and almost warm. Fenway and I went for our morning walk along the harbor. It's quiet and kind of "sad" now - all the boat slips are empty for the winter. There won't be much activity in the marina until spring.

And just look at the difference a few days can make…..or a few hours. Lake Michigan was soft and peaceful.

It just never gets old.

But I'm Helping……

This morning has been set aside so that I could work on a small quilt. Nothing else on the calendar and I'm feeling sort of "cold-y" so working at the sewing machine is a perfect thing to do. Kleenex box at my side, cup of juice on the counter.

I'd been busy creating for about 90 minutes when I felt a little nudge on my leg. Ahhh….time to go for a walk.

So Fenway and I put on our sweaters, grab the mail and walk over to the post office, down around Rotary Park and across the parking lot to walk along the water front. It wasn't the longest walk in the world, but a nice one. And Fenway got to anoint dozens of trees and bushes.

Back in the condo I put a load in the dryer, started a CD playing and sat back down at the machine. Five minutes later - nudge.  He's baaaaaack! When I didn't respond I "felt" something - he was sitting behind me….staring.

I can't help it - he makes me laugh…..so I pull my chair back from the sewing table and right away he's in my lap. I can almost "hear" him thinking…."If I sit here and stare at her, she'll talk to me and stop whatever this other thing is."

As you can see, if Fenway is in my lap, there is no way to do anything with the quilt. So he gets a few minutes conversation and tummy scratching.

Then it's back to the floor - sigh…….

Rethinking My Thinking…..

One day closer to mid-term election. Radio and TV ads continue. Each side presents the most negative, out of context comments and least flattering photographs of their opponents. We voters "wade" through the onslaught.

But driving yesterday, while listening to NPR, it occurred to me that I am lucky. Listening to the news stories about many countries where people aren't allowed to voice an opinion never mind cast a vote. Where people are imprisoned, or worse, for any dissent.

I have the choice to turn off the TV, change channels on the radio or slip in my favorite CD. I don't have to listen to the talking heads.

But I can vote. I have confidence that I can (or already did) walk into my polling place, cast my vote with no one looking over my shoulder or turning me away at the door. I won't go to jail because I voted for or against an incumbent. I have a choice of candidates.

I am lucky to live where I do.

So I guess I can put up with the noise…..for a few more days.

Stop the Noise Already…..

It's mid-term election time in Wisconsin.

Aren't we lucky.

We have the incumbent Governor who breaks his promises, favors special interest groups, takes money away from education etc. etc.

And his opponent plagiarizes her speeches and programs, is too liberal, a "total waste"….etc. etc. etc.

And we apparently have two individuals running for state attorney general who have both favored child molesters and released them back into the community.

Aren't we lucky….once again we've apparently attracted the best of the best to run for public office.

I can't wait til Tuesday - that's why I voted early.

Stop the noise.

Not Your Grandmother's Quilt Show…..

Last weekend I helped at the Wandering Foot Quilt Guild's show in Oak Creek. The guild hangs a show every-other-year to showcase the amazing work members create! And it never disappoints! Color, pattern, creativity fill the room. And believe me - the room starts out very beige and frankly boring.

Within a matter of hours many busy hands gather together and hang the quilts - large and small. Modern and traditional, hand quilted and machine stitched. There is something for anyone who loves quilts - or frankly who loves art. Quilting is another medium that lets your creativity flow…and half the fun is seeing some new method, or color combination or a pattern that, as a quilter, you just have to run home and try!

And each show features some kind of "challenge quilt" - this year members were invited to go wild and decorate a woman's "undergarment". There was a small entry fee and the proceeds were contributed to the fight against breast cancer. As you will see - imagination ruled!

So congrats to all my friends at Wandering Foot - great job! I look forward to the next one!

Invasion……

We flip the calendar in a few days and it will be NOVEMBER. It's getting cooler. Most of the leaves are on the ground and color is fading in the ones remaining on the trees. We have had a run of warmer days, but you can tell that fall weather is just around the corner. Time to unpack the sweaters and find gloves.

One remnant of the season is now landing on our little deck….and making it's way into the condo. Over the summer we had "invasions" of spiders with webs forming everywhere. We had a few weeks in September when we sat, fascinated, and watched huge dragonflies zipping back and forth through the air. And now it's ladybugs…..they are slowly crawling everywhere. Up the wall outside, on the base of our wind vane….on the windows and in on the carpet. Kind of cute and they don't seem to do any harm, although I'm not sure if these are the good kind of red lady bugs from my childhood or the more problematic ones that might "bite"??

Over the years we've lived in some old houses….and fall always meant that critters were trying to join us to avoid winter. There were the mice and shrews at the farmhouse in Nashotah, the bats in the house in Freeport. the wolf spider in New Jersey and the possum in the house in New Castle, Delaware.

I guess if I have to shoo anything out this fall….I choose ladybugs.

Fury……

Dave and I just got home from the movie. We went to see "Fury" with Brad Pitt. Dave's choice this time - no romantic comedy, a hard-hitting, in your face WWII movie. Set in April 1945, toward the end of the war in Europe, it shows one tank crew's battle against the Germans on German soil. The story unfolds in a short period of time from a very personal perspective.

I can't say how accurate it was….but it was very difficult to watch. It was believable, thought provoking and so, so sad. My Dad and his brother were in the Navy during WWII. Dad was on one of the first ships to dock near Hiroshima after we dropped the bomb. He never talked about his experiences. My uncle flew from an aircraft carrier and I seem to remember that he was shot down….but he made it back home. Dave's father was an officer in the Army and fought during the Battle of the Bulge. I never met him because he died when Dave was only 16, but I'm not sure that he shared many war "stories" with his family either.

I've always thought, that if there is such a thing as a necessary war……WWII was the one. How could the US and its Allies turn their backs on what was happening in Germany and on Hitler's drive for expansion? It took us a long time to get into that war….but it seems, when we went, we sent the best of our troops and they gave their all to help end the conflict.

To me the WWII issues have always been pretty "black and white"….understandable even though I am not a student of history.  But now we seem to live in much more of a "grey" world - a world with many small and large conflicts going on at the same time. And going on….and going on. 

Watching "Fury" made me think. 

Some Time + Some Creativity = Love and Comfort

I've been quilting for about 35 years.

Wherever we've lived I joined a quilt guild. Finding a guild meant I would find others interested in doing things I love to do while sharing ideas and techniques. It also gave me the opportunity to hear some award-winning quilters who attended our guild meetings for lectures, demonstrations and classes.  Friends from my Oak Creek guild joined me on my first trip to the huge quilt show in Paducah a few years ago. Quilters are the friendliest of people….sorry - I know I'm a bit prejudiced in this opinion!

Every guild chooses some kind of community or charity effort and members of The North Shore Quilters Guild make colorful quilts for babies at area hospitals. The quilts go to the neonatal intensive care units to provide color and warmth for the littlest of babies. The small quilts actually partially "drape" over the incubators to help control the amount of light that reaches the baby….but they are also small enough to allow medical staff and parents to reach inside to care for the little ones.

Every year we have a two day work-shop where we crank out the quilts. This year we completed about 125 quilts! Members also make quilts during the year and turn them in at the monthly meetings, but this two day event is a group effort. The room fills with the hum of sewing machines, conversations, laughter….and happy work.

When you walk across the room with a finished quilt and add it to the growing pile you get to ring a bell and everyone claps. The pile grows throughout the day.

Over the years the guild has been able to deliver more than one thousand quilts. And they are much appreciated.

How much love and comfort does this small quilt really provide?  Maybe just enough for the baby in the incubator and the loving family standing by…..one more day spent in the NICU….one day closer to going home.

And Her Name Was Debby......

I met Debby when I worked for VITAS Hospice in Milwaukee. She came to a volunteer orientation completing the classes in order to visit our patients. And she wanted to bring her dog, the golden retriever, Hairy.

Once she finished the class portion of our training she brought Hairy to the office.  I needed to see how he reacted to strangers and if he was friendly. Hairy was about two years old and was he ever friendly. In spite of going to dog-training classes, Hairy was very, very "bouncy". Friendly but bouncy.....perhaps too bouncy to visit with hospice patients requesting a Paw Pal visit. But after seeing him greet our administrative staff we took him to our inpatient unit for part two of his test. How would he react to the equipment and new sensory challenges present in a hospice setting?

Before we walked through the door, a family came out of the unit. A little girl, about eight years old and with tears in her eyes saw Hairy...ran up, dropped to her knees and hugged Hairy around the neck. He sat quietly......and loved and comforted her. His bounce disappeared. Inside the unit we visited with the staff and they all loved Hairy......including a patient sitting in a wheel chair near the desk. Instead of pulling on his leash and jumping.....Hairy walked over slowly, sat down, put his head in the man's lap and let this smiling patient pet his head. It seemed Hairy was a natural hospice volunteer.

And so was Debby. For the next few years Hairy and Debby brightened the day for families, patients and staff. He was a furry bundle of calm love and he made a difference. Debby, holding his leash, was somehow "secondary"....but she was a wonderful, kind, smiling and loving hospice volunteer.

And then I got a phone call....an aneurysm burst in Debby's brain and she was at the ICU. The doctors did all they could. But after several surgeries the decision was made to take Debby off life support.


Before doing so, her husband asked if Hairy could come. So yes, Hairy came for one last visit. Her husband told me later, that when Hairy got up on Debby's bed and lay down right next to her....all of the monitors that had been so "quiet" for hours reacted.

Heart strings stretching from Hairy to his beloved mistress, Debby. She knew he was there.

And so Debby died. In her mid 50's. She was way too young and I still miss her. I have a picture of her on my refrigerator. She is smiling, hands on hips, blue jeans and a white t-shirt with a red shirt tied around her waist. She and her husband had been hiking in California the year before she died. Her picture reminds me to enjoy the day, to think of others, to love your family, to love your pets…..to give back to your community. Debby smiles at me from my refrigerator.

I still think of her, really... every day. I still miss her.....and yet she was "just" someone I met through work. A volunteer. But she was so much more.

Finding the Most Comfortable Spot…..

Fenway seemed to have a "mission" on this last RV trip. He seemed to be comparing places to "relax". Every stop meant a new opportunity to find the most comfy place to settle in….


                                                                      On my lap -

                                         The fancy chair in Lynn and Dave's living room -

                                                     Marcia's chair with a good book -

                                                 The queen size bed in a motel room -

                                              Almost 100% covered in the back of the RV -

                                         Or one of the chairs at Denise and Tom's - inside …

---or out on the deck.

Or maybe, actually, cocktail time was the favorite - it's the piece of cracker or small amount of cheese that seem to "fall" off the picnic table. Worth waiting for!

The verdict is still out. Maybe he'll just start all over on the next adventure. Nice to be able to enjoy a trip from whatever viewpoint strikes your fancy!   :-)