It's in the news again…..a mother and father in Maryland are in real trouble for allowing their young children "free range" in their neighborhood. A neighbor called to report that the kids were unsupervised on the way home from the playground, the police arrived, the children went into protective services for a few hours and apparently the parents have now agreed to some kind of supervision plan.
I'm 68. I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago in the 1950's moving from Chicago when I was five. As I grew I guess I was a free-range-kid. I had some girlfriends who lived on my block, others who lived a bike-ride away, some older middle school "guys" who would allow us to join them to play kick-the-can on the street as darkness descended in the summer. Starting in first grade I walked to and from elementary school (about five blocks away) alone….until I hooked up with buddies to share the route.
I'm sure my stay-at-home-mom "knew" where I was…..at least she knew the general area where I was. But I was allowed, from an early age, to go outside and find my friends, explore, climb trees, build forts, walk to school, bike to town, roller skate to a friend's house. As long as I was home for dinner.
I have mixed feelings about the family in Maryland…..I believe the children in this family are ten and six so the ten year old is "in charge" when they go to the playground, or walk on home. That seems a bit young and a lot of responsibility if something happens. But still…..shouldn't the parents have the right to decide what they feel is OK for their kids? Am I going to say that nothing weird or scary ever happened to me on my forays around the neighborhood…..no, because once a man tried to offer me a ride in his car, and once a kid a few years older "dropped trousers" much to my amazement. Somehow I lived through it.
When our own two children were growing up they had freedoms that we thought were age-appropriate. Five years apart, a boy and a girl, they had separate interests and different friends. Son at age ten would have been off biking to a friend's house and spending the day exploring the woods in Nashotah Park. (They probably packed sandwiches, but had no cell phones to stay constantly connected with the umbilical cord to home.) We just figured out they'd show up for dinner…..or we would start looking! Daughter at age five was allowed to run on down to her best friend's house (admittedly at the end of our very long farmhouse driveway) to play and then two years later allowed to walk to school with friends. All of this was part of growing up, learning to feel confident in your space….getting ready to eventually go off and do "it" alone. Isn't that where independence starts?
I don't know…..but is "free range" parenting any better/worse than the "helicopter" parenting, or "tiger moms" or any of the other methods that make the news?
People protest by saying the world is "different" now, much more "dangerous". I don't agree….I know we hear more about the bad things that happen but I think that's due to the 24/7 news cycle with the 100+ TV channels that have to fill their air time. Something bad happens in Arkansas or Oregon or Germany and it's on the Milwaukee news within minutes. So parents get scared……but really, most people are just regular good folks trying to get along, take care of their families and do the best they can.
I don't know….I guess I support the free range parents in Maryland.
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