Well That Explains It……

For some reason all day yesterday was a "blue" day…..just a downer. No reason I could think of. The weather was nice. Warm and nice enough to go for several walks. Ran a few errands, read a few chapters of my book. Had a nice phone chat with my daughter. But all day I just felt "off".

Yes, I struggled with my brand new sewing machine trying to get it to do what I used to be able to do with my old one! (Ugh….I put it away and will try again tomorrow.) Yes, I have back-of-my-brain concerns about a very good friend and a very loved family member who both have huge health issues. Yes, I pulled a muscle in my back while doing some core strengthening exercises. (How ironic is that?) But there was no real reason for me to feel so "down".

Dave left for an evening meeting and I decided to take the dog for another evening walk. It was lovely and spring-ish outside. Moving and getting some fresh air would no doubt boost my mood.  And it did….until I came out of the woods and happened to glance east at Lake Michigan. There is was - the full, full moon.

The sky was still light so the moon was soft and faint. But it was full and smiling down on me. That was the reason…..it was the full moon. My mom died several years ago - and when I left her hospital room at almost midnight I looked up and there is was….a huge full moon. So for me….it's not the Man in the Moon anymore - it's always my mom smiling down on me.

There are a lot of reasons the full moon now brings both lovely memories and also a sadness to my heart, and a lot of reasons I'd like a do-over with my Mom. Some time to say some things I didn't say enough. Some time for one more hug, for one more thank you.

I have to smile. I have to think that she is gently reminding me that it's OK….that she knows I loved her….that she's proud of her whole family and somehow knows we are all doing well. So tomorrow I'll wake up and feel better. I know I will.

It was the full moon.