Living White in America......

Yesterday was a peaceful, early morning walk spotting deer. Today was a bit different. I woke at 6:00 and saw something scroll across my phone as I checked the time. Police shot in Dallas. I put it down, got the dog and walked out the door.

Another beautiful morning in Port Washington.....but not so beautiful in America. Back at the condo I turned on the TV and got the play-by-play coverage of what happened in Dallas, how many shot, how many policemen dead. Video, interviews, data.

And I began to think about me.... growing up. My parents moved from an apartment in Chicago to a suburb when I was six. Good schools, nice neighborhoods, a train into the city for my dad to get to work. He was home from Navy service in WWII and moving up the career ladder....we were living the "Leave It To Beaver" good life. And there were no black people. No black students at my grammar school. I don't recall any students of any color other than mine....white.

For several years we did have a black cleaning lady who took the bus from the city and walked to our house. She wore a white uniform and I think she probably came about twice a month. Most of our neighbors had cleaning ladies. I didn't think much about it....I was probably eleven. I know my mom was nice to her....but I don't remember that we ever sat at table to enjoy lunch together or a cup of coffee. She ate alone.

And then there was high school.....4000 students drawn mostly from my suburb and those surrounding us. That's a lot of faces....but I don't remember any black ones.

I went to a small liberal arts college in Wisconsin....only 900 students. That was the first time I can remember that I had any exposure to black students...."exotic" foreign exchange students from countries in Africa. And one very special young woman, Alice, who came from the East Coast. My sorority actually pledged Alice to our chapter when I was a junior...and the shit hit the fan. A rather elderly woman from "National" came....proudly displaying her sorority pin over her breast and told us, in no uncertain terms, that black women were not part of our "tradition". I can't remember all the details.....but I do know that we pledged and activated Alice. I forget if our chapter was tossed out....or if National backed down. But that was one point where I thought to myself "This old woman needs to wake up and get a life and take the stupid sorority pin off her chest. This is 1967!"

And yet....as I got married and followed my husband's career moving around a bit we always looked for good schools, nice neighborhoods and communities where we felt safe raising our kids. Did we ever purposely look for integrated neighborhoods? No. I wonder why. Just being comfortable with what we knew? A search for "similars" as we made new friends? Why was our circle so small?

Now we live north of Milwaukee....and we love our small community along Lake Michigan. But it is still pretty much lilly white. Not much ethnic diversity as far as I can see. So.....if you have no neighbors who reflect another culture, or faith base, or skin color....how do you learn about each other? How do you bridge divides?

Statistics show that Milwaukee is one of the most segregated cities in the Country and we have one of the most violent zip codes just on the north west side of the city. Really.....that's just down the road from my little oasis of comfort. It might as well be on the other side of the world.

There is a sad cancer growing in our Country and there isn't much I can do about it except think that if each one of us started to reach out, to shake hands, to get to know one another, to trust, to stop being afraid....maybe, just maybe things might improve. Too simplistic I know. But the heartbreaking statistics have to be altered somehow. If not now....when?

At the end of the early morning walk just before coming back into the condo I heard a police or ambulance siren going through town a few blocks away. My first thought was "Oh...someone needs help or has a medical emergency and help is on the way." I wonder what a mother's first thought if she is living in a poor black neighborhood......"Oh God...where is my child/husband/father/boyfriend and please keep him safe."

Living white in America......I just have no idea.