....Signing On

Dave and I have a goofy anniversary "tradition".....we "sign on" for one more year. I don't know when this started but we have been doing it for as long as I can remember.

Looking back I guess I never really had a "long range" plan....or a five year plan or any kind of plan. Life just happened....good and bad. And somewhere along the way we began to tease each other about signing up for "one more year" as we'd celebrate our anniversary.

We had a winter wedding, and married very young. We were both still in college. And as it turned out, we had so many family birthdays starting in October and then lots of Christmas shopping to do in December. For years, by the time we got to our anniversary, we couldn't even go out for a burger. At one point I remember we asked each other "Whose great idea was it to get married on December 29th?!"

Now, with the kids grown and gone and completely independent, we can and will go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. And.....sign on for one more year.

Many more "ups" than "downs".......so on we go.

Morning Sounds......

Fenway and I bundle up and go for our first morning walk about 7:00.....winter means we really bundle up because he hates cold weather. So our morning walk is usually quite abbreviated....he does what he has to do and wants to come in for breakfast immediately.

But still our few minutes outside often provides us with a surprise. Sometimes the sun is still coming up over the lake from behind a low layer of clouds...so we see pink, yellow and blue. Morning rainbows. Sometimes the temperature over the land combined with temperatures over the water provide us with ghostly smoke out toward the middle of Lake Michigan.

And today I realized that we are greeted with special good morning noise every day.  There are hundreds of Canadian geese that winter in Port Washington. They gather in the evenings and land in the water at the marina and behind the breakwater. Quiet all night....but as I begin my walk in the morning I realize that I always start to hear them waking up. At first it's just a few geese who begin the honking....then others join in. During our ten minutes outside the noise grows and grows......amidst winter silence.

And then the flock begins to take off in groups as they leave the water and head to area farm fields to forage for their food. We see them during the day as they search for left-overs in area cornfields.

Late afternoon they begin to come back - v formations heading toward the edge of the lake and landing in the water. Again the noise......getting louder as more and more of them head in for the night.

A daily ritual.....and I like the fact that they greet me as I begin my day. Their ritual accompanies one of mine...walking the dog.

A Walk Through Our Woods.....

The wind is gone.....for today. Although the skies are grey, it feels almost "warm" at 37 degrees. It was a good morning for several long walks with Fenway. We took the bike path up along the stream and through the woods because it's pretty well cleared of snow and ice.

It was very quiet.....just a few birds zipping back and forth and a few squirrels bounding from bare branch to bare branch. I heard the sound of our stream.....very soft as much of it is frozen over.

A narrow band of cold water runs between the banks.....background music for my walk.  So I made my little dog stop with me....he must have been curious as to why I take out my phone and tell him to not tug on his leash so I can try for a clear shot.

Walking home I began to remember a poem......and found it on the internet. I wasn't riding a horse through the dark woods at night....but somehow the tone of Whitman's poem seemed similar to my morning experience. Enjoying Port Washington's winter woods .... white, brown and grey beauty everywhere I look.

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening - Poem by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though; 

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep. 

....Additional Worms

It's still happening.....and now two in one night!

1:30 a.m. I woke to Gene Autry singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and at 3:00 a.m. it was Josh Groban' beautiful "Oh Holy Night".

I was only awake for about five minutes each time......but now I'm thinking it's a "battle" between the spiritual and the commercial. One lyric beckoning me to church....the other to a mall.

I think I'll stay home and celebrate in my own way.

Tra la la.......

Invasion of the Christmas Worm.....

We are in the final countdown to Christmas....and we are looking forward to it. We've gone to parties, had friends join us for an open house, traveled down to Chicago to see my sister and her family and now we wait for Christmas Eve at our daughter and son-in-law's home.

But frankly, right about now, I will be glad when the holiday music begins to disappear off the radio stations and slips out of my brain.

Every night for the past week I've awakened about 3:00 in the morning and find I am silently singing a Christmas melody. Yesterday was "White Christmas" (yes....we have one), the night before was Maria Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" and then before that it was "Feliz Navidad"!

Happily I seem to fall back to sleep pretty quickly and the song doesn't interfer with my rest for more than a few minutes. But I find it interesting that this is happening to me this year.....I never remember a holiday season where every night's rest was interrupted by a different song.

Sort of celebratory.....yawn.

Good Book Weather.....

It's official.....we now have wind chill that makes outside feel like we are living in a sub-zero climate. Ugh. I don't mind cold weather, and the snow is lovely.....it's the wind I can do without.  A good day to do some quilting and then finish a very good book.

I've read Pat Conroy's novels before and am now finishing South of Broad. It's an excellent read and an interesting story about friendships spanning two decades and set in the beautiful city of Charleston.

But what I enjoy most is Conroy's mastery of the language. His phrases.....his descriptions....the words he chooses to use. He seems to assume that his readers will enjoy stretching their vocabularies....and perhaps grabbing a dictionary. It struck me on page 190 that he had such a purposeful choice of every single word.....a perfect word that exactly fit the situation. I have to wonder how many re-writes before he was satisfied?

Reading "...their languorous drift...", "...disseminating the stereotype." "...the portion of darkness he carries inside, like a rumor of bad weather." "...faintly liturgical smell....", "...responses are brilliant and disputatious..." (disputatious!)

Later in the novel he states "The West is both a great thirst and a dry, weatherless curiosity." And describing a run down hotel in the Tenderloin District of San Francisco he colors it well..."It smells of the kind of mold that grows on expensive cheeses, but also of a darker variety that has metastasized in dampness and air shafts and crawl spaces, untouched by disinfectants."

I enter this book's world every time I pick it up. And even though much of the story is tinged with sadness it is a great read. So much to think about, to digest.

Disputatious.......love it.

Missing........

While we lived in New Castle, Delaware she was one of my best-est friends. We met at church and quickly moved from acquaintance to friend. We'd meet almost every morning for our talk/walks along the Delaware River. We met her husband and the guys became good friends too. We'd share meals together as couples. We traveled together.....she and her husband joined us on our first trip to London and Paris. They were the experts....having been to both places many times and happily showed us the ropes.

We laughed together, we cried together, we shared good books and movies. We had a tradition we called "Cheap Dates" where we took times planning excursions to see how much we could do for how little. The best involved a car trip. We toured a power plant for free, ate a picnic lunch, got free hot potato chips right from the assembly line at the tour of a Pennsylvania potato chip factory.....and drove home to New Castle. The only cost was the gas for the car. It became a monthly "contest" to see who could come up with the most fun ideas.

She was so bright....a Cornell grad. Her career involved teaching and computers. She was the consumate hostess and great cook. Her table was often set for friends and gatherings at their house were always fun. She had a great laugh....and so did her husband. They still do.

But things began to change after Dave and I moved away. We tried to stay in touch and did take a great trip to Belize to snorkel in 2002. They came to stay with us for a few days in Milwaukee and we celebrated a wonderful New Year's Eve. Whenever they came to the Chicago area to visit their son and his family we would try to get together. But the last few years conversation became more difficult....and one-sided. She was as friendly and smiling as ever.....but almost silent. She responded to comments....but did not seem to initiate the four-way talk.

The last time I called her must have been about six months ago.....a warm conversation except for the fact that every few minutes she'd ask "Who is this again?" I could hear the smile in her voice....but also the puzzled tone. I knew.

Yesterday Dave had a nice long talk with her husband.....I heard Dave's side as he described what we've been up to. I could tell that my friend's husband was still teaching classes at Wilmington's OSHER program and they were planning on a couple weeks in Mexico to flee winter this year. But when Dave asked if my friend was still active in the community I could tell that the conversation had taken a sadder turn.....for the first time her husband confirmed that she no longer knew who anyone was. She was still going for walks with him everyday and attending classes to sit with him and doing a little traveling.....but her memories were gone.

It hurts. Knowing just what an amazing woman she "was" it's hard to think that so much of what made her special is "gone"......and if I walked in their front door she would greet me with a smile but wouldn't know who I was.

We lost our close friendship because Dave and I moved away.....but I still "had" her as a friend. I don't anymore. That's hard for me.....but so much harder for her family.

Dementia in any form is such a thief......it steals your past and robs you of your future. And it hurts all the people who love you. Shit.

A Morning in the Kitchen......

I wish I could say I loved to cook.....but I don't. Basically, I spend as little time in the room with the appliances as possible. And I stopped baking a long time ago. Certainly when our kids were young we had lots of holiday traditions that revolved around Christmas cookies....and I did have fun creating them with my two appreciative participants.  But once they grew up, moved away and began their own traditions I happily dropped cookie baking from my to-do-list.

Until I met Janie. We were living in Delaware and she and I met while attending Newcomer Club functions. She and her husband moved to the area from Seattle and we "found" each other while I was living in New Castle.  We felt an instant connection, a recognition.....and decided we'd been sisters-in-another-life.  Janie was an excellent cook! So we decided to get back into the swing and for the years we both lived in the area it became our new tradition. She'd come over to my kitchen and we'd put together multiple batches of Christmas cookies.....lots of different kinds. Christmas carols playing on the radio and laughter bouncing off the walls. Baking with Janie was fun....and the results delicious!

So here we are in 1993......busy mixing, baking, icing and sampling the finished results. Such fun memories.

The years pass....and lives change. Janie and her husband, Phil, moved aboard their sailboat and spent more than ten years circumnavigating the globe. We worked a few more years, then we too moved aboard our smaller sailboat and spent two years exploring. There was no baking going on while we were afloat!

But yesterday I found a really easy four-ingredient recipe on the internet.....Almond Joy Cookies. Today I baked them......fast, easy, pretty good. Yes, the carols were on the radio and they went together easily....but I missed the friendship, the laughter and the cookie variety! I missed Janie!

She's now a phone call away.....living in Alaska. So I picked up the phone and we shared a few memories and some laughter. Signing off with "I love you"..... my-sister-in-another-life. I sure wish she lived nearby!

So Who "Owns" December.....

This controversy seems to come up every December....the discussion about saying "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" to friends and neighbors. Facebook is already full of postings. I decided to check my December calendar.

December 11th is the Prophet's birthday, beginning at sundown.  Hanukkah shares Christmas Eve on December 24th. Christmas Day is the 25th and the first day of Kwanzaa is December 29th. So apparently there are many faith traditions that "share" December. Then my curiosity sent me to the internet and I found some interesting information.

Apparently the first recorded date of Christmas being celebrated on December 25th was in 336 and a few years later Pope Julius I decared that the birth of Jesus would be celebrated on that date. When you examine the Bible there seem to be two basic reasons why Jesus couldn't actually have been born on that date......if you like the story. The tradition states that shepherds were in the fields watching their flocks....but shepherds would not have been in the fields in December....wrong season, wrong weather.

And then there is the part of the story that has Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem to register in a Roman census (Luke 2:1-4)...."but such censuses were not taken in the winter when temperatures and weather were very cold and roads were in poor condition. Taking a census under such conditions would have been self-defeating."

So.....Christians celebrate Christ's birth on December 25th as a matter of tradition and faith. And saying Merry Christmas on the 24th and 25th is perfectly appropriate. But does that mean that the whole month should be given over to celebrate this one special religious holiday?

Why do Christians feel it's such an insult when someone says "Happy Holidays" during the month. Why do they feel all greetings should be repectful of their traditions over everyone elses?

So who "owns" December? In America I actually think it's the malls.....they put up their holiday decorations in October and start playing Christmas carols in November and start advertising Black Friday Sales....and now Cyber Monday Sales.....and special Christmas coupon sales.

Don't kid yourself......the "meaning" of Christmas often gets buried under all of the brightly wrapped gifts piled under a decorated Christmas tree....until, on December 24th or 25th many people drive off to church to be reminded of one man, who had so little, and gave so much.

Do you honestly think he would be offended by people saying "Happy Holidays!" to others?

And Then Really 70......

So what would you do to celebrate a milestone birthday? My actual birthday was on Thanksgiving this year.....and when that happens I like to imagine that the whole country is celebrating with me. This year, turning 70, Dave arranged for a very special adventure.

We flew to Atlanta on the 23rd and stayed overnight at a nice hotel overlooking the Atlanta Aquarium. It was a beautiful day, temperatures in the 60's and an amazing sky. We enjoyed a walk through the park and a delicious dinner at Legal Seafood.....the best crab cake since we moved away from the Chesapeake Bay.

And then, on Thanksgiving morning, we went to the aquarium to go swimming with the whale sharks! On my "bucket list" and what a fantastic experience. We love to snorkel and have been lucky enough to look down at fish in many places throughout the Caribbean. We've seen parrot fish, rays, sea turtles, yellow tangs, pufferfish, barracuda, squid, eels....and so many more I can't remember.

But to be in the main tank at the aquarium with four huge whale sharks was simply amazing. And giant manta rays doing ballet moves around us, the school of jacks enveloping me for a moment, the sea turtle exploring the bottom of the tank way below us.....it was just mesmerizing. I have to admit that when we first started to swim, following the dive master, I started weeping into my mask. I was just so excited! But I quickly realized that I would not be able to see the fish very well if I didn't get myself under control.....so managed to stop.

Turning 70 while swimming with sharks.....this birthday will be hard to top!

The Story in the Wood......

The doors throughout our condo are fun. We began to notice special elements soon after moving in. Pictures in the wood that sparked imagination.

There is the upside-down heart .....  or, depending on your viewpoint, an elephant lying on it's back...or a nose?

 And then the huge butterfly - sadly his wings are caught in the door when it closes.

There is a strange being on the door to my sewing room ..... long pointy nose. Maybe another elephant?

But my very favorite is the one that is on the outside of our front door. An alien being who welcomes our friends and visitors. I love his tall pointy head (reminds me of Saturday Night Live's coneheads!) and the eyes hanging off the sides....they look right at you as you approach!

"Hello earthling....come on inside!"

It Started With a Dish Towel......

As a quilter I find inspiration in many different places. I never know when something will provide me with a good idea for a quilt. I've seen paintings that prompted an idea. Sometimes it is one of Dave's photographs. Sometimes it's a quilt pattern or something in a quilt magazine. Or it's a "copy" of someone else's beautiful quilt at our guild's 'show and tell'. I'll see something and put colors together that I never would have thought of combining.

And then there was that dish towel. My friend and I were exploring shops in The Third Ward down in Milwaukee about a week ago. We weren't really shopping for anything.....just sort of browsing and enjoying each other's company. It was a beautiful November day....perfect for wandering in and out of shops. After going around two blocks we put more money in the meter and kept on walking. We opened the door to Anthropologie......just because I love to see the displays. Whoever is in charge of the wall displays, and imaginative things hanging from the ceiling and decorating the windows has a wonderful imagination.

We slowly walked through the store and I found myself in the housewares section......with some colorful dish towels on display. I took one out, looked at it, re-folded it and put it back. Then another caught my eye. I unfolded it and discovered a beautiful, colorful, rooster-with-an-attitude! And I could not resist.....so off to the cashier I went so I could take the dish towel could home with me.

I wasn't planning to use it to actually dry any dishes! Immediately I could picture this rooster as the basis for a quilt....a wall hanging size quilt. He would give me a chance to experiment with colors I don't usually put into my quilts and use up more of my stash.

I spent a lot of time sitting at my machine this week......and here he is. Since he was sitting in the bottom right corner of the towel I decided to put him at the bottom right corner of the quilt.

Fun....and inspiration from an unexpected source. Keeping my eyes open for the next chance to think outside-the-box!

Comfort.......

There is just something about "old" friendships that just can't be beat. Spending time with someone special who "knew you when"! Memories shared, similar experiences.....conversations started years ago and finished in the present.

My freshman college "roomie" came to visit us for a few days and we had such fun. We met at Ripon....and we both chose that small, liberal arts college for similar reasons. One from Massachusetts, one from Illinois. Both from big high schools feeling rather "lost" and ending up at a small college where we could feel more comfortable and find ourselves.

And I'm glad I found Marcia and she found me! We've never lived close to each other as adults. She spent her adult life working and living in Boston and then retiring to Cape Cod. I jumped back and forth from the midwest to the mid-Atlantic states....so we didn't connect very often with the exception of Christmas cards.

But in the past five or six years we've crossed paths several times.....and re-finding each other has been very nice. So when she planned her trip to see a friend in Chicago she also planned to come up and see us for a few days.

And we did have fun.....in spite of a few mis-steps (arriving in Milwaukee on Monday and planning to have lunch at the Milwaukee Art Museum did not work out so well. Why didn't I remember that most museums are closed on Mondays?!). But plan B was fun so we just continued on. We explored, we talked, we laughed, we walked Fenway, we shopped, we went out to eat, she joined me at my quilt guild meeting. We crammed a lot of fun into a three+ day visit.

So when I dropped her off at the bus to take her back to O'Hare Airport today it was with a little bit of sadness. We hugged....and I told her that as I age, times spent with such special friends means more and more. We plan to see each other again in September 2017.

Time flies....but that seems like a long time between visits!!

Saturation.....

Driving home from Milwaukee today with the car radio on. Listening to news on NPR and then I switched stations to one that features music from the 1980's until today.

And there it was.....Christmas music. Already. It's November 17th and almost 65 degrees outside. I am just so not ready for this yet.

I enjoy holiday songs and know most of the lyrics by heart. But I am just so not ready to sing along just yet.

Back to a country music station.

I know it's just around the corner.....but I am just not ready!

Dissonance......

I've been trying to figure out what I am feeling since election day. Disbelief certainly came to my mind when I woke at 2:30 a.m. on Wednesday and found out the results. And ever since I feel like I'm sort of walking in a fog....even though we've been enjoying beautiful, sunny, blue-sky days here in Port Washington.

My social media is flooded with all kinds of political comments and crap....the talking heads are talking and talking and talking....and I find I just can not listen anymore. I keep thinking that this just can't be "my America"....and it isn't.

I'm white, I'm upper middle-class, I went to college, I had good jobs, I enjoyed nice homes,  now I live in a mortgage-free condo overlooking Lake Michigan, I travel, I'm married, our kids are grown/college educated/independent, we are enjoying a comfortable retirement.  That's my America. It doesn't reflect America for so many others....and the left-behinds roared into the polling places on election day responding to a candidate who said, "Only I can fix it."

We're still figuring out "what now"....and it saddens me so to see that we now have can't-argue-with-it-proof that racisim is alive and well all over the United States of America. Individuals who, before election day, might have shared their racist comments only with like-minded individuals, now feel free to scrawl them on school walls, hurl them at the "other" in their neighborhoods. It saddens me to see the protests in the streets although that is certainly a measure of the free speech we enjoy here. It saddens me to see that our peaceful transition from one President to another will not be so peaceful this time....and the whole world is watching.

So again I muddle through the day wondering just what I am feeling......and then I went to the dictionary. The word "dissonance" means a tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements.

That's it.....every time I hear the words President Elect partnered with the name Donald J. Trump I feel a ripple of dissonance vibrate through my brain.

For me, I fear it's going to be a very long four years.

Something Positive.....

I've been in a semi-funk since election day.....as has about 50% of the country. But I am trying really hard to avoid all of the Facebook posts....they just make me feel worse. Determined to find the good....and that means looking for another close-to-home volunteer opportunity to connect with people who need a little extra help. A food pantry? A homeless shelter? I'll find something.

I do look back to my quilt guild's annual "Love and Comfort" workshop - where members assemble baby quilts to distribute to area hospitical NICUs. These small quilts are colorful and are designed to drape over the baby's to protect their eyes from the harsh hospital lights. And they also bring a little touch of color, love and warmth to an otherwise sterile environment.

This year we spent our two days assembling 114 finished quilts. The pile grew as the day progressed.....and it was such fun. Conversation, laughter, sewing machines humming at top speed.  We have a tradition where, as each quilt is added to the pile,  quilter gets to ring a cow bell and everyone applauds. We wait for that bell!

It's a small effort....and only helps a little bit. But it does help. The parents who visit their babies in the NICU...who worry and wonder and can't wait to take their newborns home. At least they can walk in and immediately see that someone is thinking about them....and sending healing thoughts their way.

Love and comfort....many of us could use a little more of that right about now.

And the hospital NICU!

Those Special Words.....

It's Wednesday November 9th and the sun came up in the east. I walked Fenway feeling a huge sense of disconnect......America changed during the middle of the night. Our democratic process worked and there was (so far) a peaceful change of power and we have a President Elect....but not the one I expected.

And I think back to just some of his words:

"An 'extremely credible' source has called my office and told me that Brack Obama's birth certificate is a fraud."
"You know, it really doesn't matter what the media write as long as you've got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass."
"I will build a great wall - and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me - and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words."
"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending the best.....They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists...And some, I assume, are good people."
"All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consiously or unconsciously. That's to be expected."
"What's a Gold Star family?"
"The beauty of me is that I'm very rich."
"My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body."
"The point is, you can never be too greedy."
"My IQ is one of the highest - and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault."
"Such a nasty woman."
"Why can't we just use nuclear weapons?"
"Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press."
"I alone can fix it."
"From a moral standpoint, I believe in it. But you also have to get elected. And there's no way a Republican is going to beat a Democrat when the Republican is saying, 'We're going to cut your Social Security' and the Democrat is saying 'We're going to keep it and give you more."
"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible."
"I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me....I would bomb the shit out of them."

And on Friday, January 20th I will watch Donald J. Trump put his hand on a Bible and say the following words: "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

And he will walk into the oval office and begin the job of leading this Country. And I will try to respect the office......even if I don't respect the man.

Almost 70.....

For about a month each year I tease Dave that he is married to a "younger woman". He crossed the bridge to 70 at the end of October.....this year I will celebrate the same milestone on Thanksgiving Day.

Recently our daughter asked Dave what he imagined life would be like at 70....and that got me to thinking about my life and what I envisioned it would be. And, oddly enough, looking back I realize I didn't really envision any of it.

I met Dave in college and we married when we were seniors.....so young. And here we are almost ready to celebrate our 49th anniversary. And I didn't really picture what a long-term marriage would look like. My imagination didn't go much farther than the wedding day and graduation. I didn't picture myself as a mom....but had a son and then a daughter and we seemed to learn how to parent along the way.

I didn't picture moving as often as we did from the Midwest to the Mid-Atlantic states. Back and forth as Dave's insurance career developed. I never would have imagined owning eleven homes!

I didn't see myself in any specific career....but found meaningful jobs as the kids grew. I loved selling real estate in New Jersey and felt proud about putting the kids through college. I loved my 15 years in volunteer management. (Working with people who give their time and energy because they support your organization's mission is just the best.)

And if anyone had ever told me that I'd learn to sail, never mind live on a sailboat for two years I would have thought they were crazy. That was never part of any life-plan I might have imagined.

I didn't picture myself as a grandmother....but here I am with four amazing, healthy, bright grandsons!

So maybe not having a life-plan worked out for me.....would it have been very different if I had a master plan to follow? I look back and think that luck played a big part, but so did hard work. Doors closed and others opened.

And day by day my life just "happened". Almost 70 isn't what I expected it to be.....but then again, I didn't really have any expectations about it. I guess I'll just continue to go with the flow and enjoy the life I've got. And share it with those I love....and every day realize just how fortunate I am.

Those Magic Needles.....

For more than two years I've been visiting doctors. My primary care physician, and then lots of specialists. An allergist, a skin doctor, a pulmonologist and a sinus surgeon.  Everyone trying to figure out why I have a persistant cough and constant sinus drainage. I had sinus surgery.  I'm on two different antihistamines and three inhalers. And yet the "health adventure" continues.

I've had x-rays and MRIs......inhalation therapy treatments.....advice about diet.....you name it and I've tried it. I should have purchased stock in companies that produce cough drops.

Now I realize that this, in comparison to many serious health problems, is a minor annoyance. But it is an annoyance....and a frustration. Not only for me but for everyone around me as they are treated to the sound of my "productive" coughing. I'm pleased that the doctors involved have ruled out any really bad diagnoses.....but I am tired of being a "mystery".

So.....off to the acupuncturist I went. I've gone to two other acupuncturists over the years, both times for more muscle/nerve related problems that were not helped by traditional medicine. The first time, while working in Delaware, someone suggested I try it for my bursitis pain. And I did. Six visits.....pain gone and it never came back.  Years later, living in Bay View, I was having difficulty with my wrists. Too much time on the computer at work combined with quilting. Doctors were beginning to talk about carpal tunnel surgery. But I decided to, once again, try acupuncture before surgery. I figured it wasn't invasive and besides....what did I have to lose?

Six visits.....problem gone....never returned.

So about three weeks ago I decided that I would again give it a try....for cough and sinus. I was not sure that it would make any difference since I couldn't point to a specific spot and say "here is where I hurt".....but all my doctor visits with all my well-meaning specialists had not made any difference either.

Here I am, after three treatments and I feel so much better. Hard to explain, hard to understand....but I am better.

My father worked for the American Medical Association. He would have been very dismissive of this "woo woo" medicine. But I figure there are reasons why alternative forms of treatment have been practiced in other countries for centuries.

Those magic needles....no pain, all gain. Next time I have a health adventure I won't wait so long before trying the alternative.

Study in Blue and White....and Counting the Colors....

Quiet day in Port Washington. No wind so far today.....low hanging clouds, but very mild. Our morning walk took us around Rotary Park. Pacing quickly it's a mile route and let's Fenway exercise those little legs and I get to burn off some of my cereal.

Most of our trees are past the peak of the color season....and leaves are falling everywhere. (Makes cleaning up after a dog an adventure. If I don't "watch" Fenway's deposits get lost in the dead-leaf piles.)

Looking out toward Lake Michigan I was struck by the color/non-color surrounding our little lighthouse. A study in grey/white/blue....with a little bit of brownish red for contrast. Stones from the breakwater, the clouds overhead, the water and the lighthouse itself. Monocromatic morning.

Then we continue down the sidewalk along the marina...empty now with almost all of the boats gone for the winter. And there she is.....a small maple just boasting the fact that she is hanging onto her leaves and brightening up our morning. I can't even count all the beautiful colors in this one little tree.

I don't think she was planted on purpose....she seems to be the opportunistic kind, finding root in some earth between the rocks. I'm glad she sprouted here....glad she shared her beauty with us. Hope her leaves are still there tomorrow.

Good Morning Sunshine......

7:00 a.m. First walk of the morning.....Fenway at the end of his leash and we turn east toward Lake Michigan. Today I remembered to bring my cell phone. As we turned toward the lake my mouth dropped....another amazing view as the sun began to creep up through a low cloud layer. The sky was pink and blue and purple. The sun streaming up made me think of a launch at Cape Canaveral.

We walked slowly so that I could just look....and then snap a few pictures. My little cell phone camera does not do it justice....but Mother Nature put on quite the show this morning.

Fenway was busy sniffiing for perfect spots. He wasn't impressed.....but I was. Hello day!

Another Therapy Weekend.....

It's over for the year.....my annual gathering with college friends. A few days filled with laughter and conversation, a few hugs and fun memories. And we always build more new memories together.

This year we spent a few days in Door County. We rented a home in Fish Creek and explored together. The weather cooperated and we visited a few shops and galleries, sampled some hard cider, visited some very good restaurants, had a picnic lunch at Peninsula State Park and went to a performance at the Peninsula Players. We did our annual "book and movie" list so I came home with some ideas for both good reads and good films.

We had way too much food as everyone brings something to share at the house. Apples and kringle, popcorn and crab salad, a chicken dinner casserole and salad, granola and cookies, apple cake and delicious appetizers, carmel apples, wine and more wine. I'm sure there was more.....! At one point we agreed that basically we'd spent the entire three days eating.

Every year we reminisce about past gatherings....and always say something to the effect that we can't believe it's been so many years since we graduated from Ripon and went out into the adult world.

This year the "I can't believe it" conversation took on a little more meaning as 2016 is the year we all turn (or are still turning) 70. Now that really is impossible. Still......here we are......and frankly, looking pretty damn good.

Already looking forward to 2017........

It's Over......

Tuesday, October 18, 2016.  My personal election season is over. I voted early.

So now I'll just wait and see what happens in November and, with all the current negative rhetoric,  hope for a peaceful transition of power.....no matter which "side" wins.

And then I'll hope that for the following four years those we elect will look for common ground, for things they can agree on so that we can, together, build a better future for all.

I'll hope anyway.....but for me, today.....it's over.

Anticipation......

My special weekend is here! I've been anticipating the fun for months. My college friends are gathering and we're heading to Door County for another "therapy" session.

We've been gathering now for YEARS! We do a count every year and try to remember exactly how many years and somehow it always ends up in laughter. Someone had a list at one point....but I think that got lost awhile ago.

The mini-reunions all started after our 25th college reunion....when we all saw each other as a group for the first time in years, had so much fun that we decided we had to get together again...and again...and again.

At this point we've visited each other's homes all over the country, rented a B & B for a Milwaukee trip, taken advantage of one friend's access to time share units in Williamsburg and Myrtle Beach. We've had fun all over the place.

So my suitcase is packed....I'm ready to go! We'll talk, laugh, maybe cry, visit galleries, go to a play, go out to dinner, drink some wine, laugh, talk, share photos.

It's all just so good.....and I toast all of these once-a-year friends. I love you all and thank you all for knowing me way back when and for continuing to be special friends today.

Cheers!!!

Enjoying a Moment.....

Sometimes, in the morning, I watch "The View" on TV. Usually it is background noise while I work on a quilt.  I like the very last sentence or two where a host says something like "Enjoy whatever view you happen upon today." It always reminds me to pause and take a minute to look at the sky, or the lake, or Fenway's back legs as he prances down the path on our walk together.

Yesterday Dave and I walked into town for a late morning cup of coffee. It was nice enough to sit outside and enjoy the day. Almost 70 degrees, blue sky.....I'll take that any day in October!

Walking home we passed a few town flower gardens still in bloom. Fall flowers that can stand a little cooler weather. Zinnias and black-eyed Susans mostly.  And a monarch butterfly pausing in Port Washington to find some nourishment before continuing its migration south.

Beautiful flowers.....beautiful monarch.....beautiful moment.

Take a moment to enjoy your ever changing view.

So Angry That I'm Shaking.....

I just took Fenway for a really fast walk around behind the bandshell, next to Lake Michigan and back home again. Nice evening.....skies blue with whispy clouds overhead. A breeze. Nice night.

But I am shaking with emotion. I am so mad I just don't know what to do with this one. And I don't plan to post this episode on Facebook.....at least not now, because they probably would not appreciate my language.

This has been a very difficult political election.....and I said the same thing both four and eight years ago....but this year is just beyond anything I could ever have imagined.

And yes, I will agree that we have two flawed candidates....but today's leaked video of Donald Trump on a bus going to an appearance on a soap opera in 2005 pushed me over the edge. I am a woman. I have a daughter. Anyone who is a woman (or a man), who has a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, a partner, a friend....anyone who values women in any way needs to really listen to and think about what this man said just a short time after marrying his third wife.

The video is on the national news tonight and was originally leaked by the Washington Post.....so Trump supporters will scream "it's rigged". But listen to the words. The man who would occupy the Oval Office and lead America talks about grabbing women "by the pussy".....he talks about trying to "fuck" a married woman but couldn't quite get that to work out. He goes on and on and on.

Now Donald has issued an apology, to anyone he "might" have offended. He's also stated something like what he said was "locker room talk" and nothing worse than Bill Clinton said to him once on a golf course.

What part of this doesn't he understand.....Bill Clinton is not running for public office. What went on or goes on in is his marriage is between him and his wife. And he offended every woman in the world.

Now imagine....here is a current list of "women in charge" across the world. (According to Time Magazine as of September.) Some from smaller countries than others, some who may be ending terms. I don't know. But here's the list. And then think of any of these leaders coming into a room and sitting down at a negotiating table across from Donald Trump knowing that he is first judging their boobs, and their kissability, and their pussies. And then expect them to look at him, and therefore the United States, with any degree of respect.

I wish I could be in the audience at the next debate.....the one where candidates take questions from the voters. I'd love to ask The Donald a few choice questions.

I can only hope, as President Gerald Ford once said, that soon "Our long national nightmare is over."

I'm going to vote early and pray. This is not the Party of Lincoln.....I don't usually vote a straight ticket. I like to think of myself as "independent" and try to judge individuals (especially those running for very important offices on their merits). But this time I can only hope that my staunch Republican-only friends seriously think about splitting their vote. Go ahead and keep control of the Congress.....do not let this man lead as President.

And frankly, Melania should kick him to the curb.

Women in Charge

Helle Thorning-Schmidt, Prime Minister of Denmark

Yingluck Shinawatra, Prime Minister of Thailand

Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany

Theresa May, Prime Minister of the UK

Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, President of Argentina

Dilma Rousseff, President of Brazil

Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, President of Liberia

 Sheik Hasina Wajed, Prime Minister of Bangladesh

Johanna Sigurdardottir, Prime Minister of Iceland

Laura Chinchilla, President of Costa Rica

Tarja Halonen, President of Finland

Dalia Grybauskaite, President of Lithuania

Kamla Persad-Bissessar, Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago

Muscle Memory and Wind from the South....

Lake Michigan changes every day.....her movement and her colors. Usually our Wisconsin weather moves from west to east and our Port Washington shoreline is pretty quiet. But we have a small beach just across the park from us....one that we walk past with Fenway many times each week. If the wind shifts and comes at us from the south or southeast we get wonderful surf crashing onto our small sand/stone beach. It sounds just like being at an ocean beach.

And every time I hear it I can feel it in my muscles. I can feel our two years spent living aboard Connemara.....feel the movement of the water against the hull when we sailed her. Feel the movement as we rocked to sleep in the cradle of our v-berth in a peaceful anchorage.

Small muscle adjustments....I can feel them whenever I hear the sounds of surf. How lucky we were to have had such an adventure. And how I miss it still....sixteen years later, those muscle memories are at work today.

Angry and Awake.....

Yesterday was a nice Friday. Busy around the condo for most of the time and then ended the day with a fun Final Friday Frolic gathering in the building. These informal parties started about six months ago and it gives us all a nice chance to get to know one another and see each other aside from in the garage or the elevator.

We came home and I had time to read a few chapters in a book before getting ready for bed. It was while in the bedroom, about 10:15, with the local news in the background that I heard a quick story. Few details.

A four year old boy shot dead in his home with a gun someone kept in his home. Further details would be provided as the story develops. I glanced up to see a photograph of a darling little boy.

My thoughts immediately flew to our four grandsons....and what fun they were as little guys. Four year olds.....doing four year old things. Still interested in Match Box cars, Play Doh, play dates and ice cream. Sleep-overs at our house. Pancakes for breakfast. Cuddling up for a story. Watching cartoons on television.

Four year old stuff.

So yes.....let's all talk again about the sadness and violence in our cities. Let's all argue again about what the framers of our Constitution meant when they decided citizens should form a "well armed militia" and had the right to carry guns. Yes...let's all just keep talking.

We visted Iceland two weeks ago. A very interesting trip and very informative. I had no idea about its history or culture or fascinating geology. On a city-walking tour our guide was very informative and at one point explained that we would not see policemen or police cars in the streets of Reykjavik. If we wanted to see armed guards of any kind we could walk over to the United States Embassy. They weren't needed on the streets of the city because basically there is no crime. The police are there when called....but they don't have to patrol anywhere. Imagine that.

So yes....let's all talk. Really. FOUR YEARS OLD.

Dead.

I tossed and turned for hours.

And So We Say Goodbye.....

A trip to Indiana....a gathering of the family....hugs and a few tears. Memories shared and a well-planned tribute to someone we all loved so very much.

My cousin was a special woman and the friends and family who stood at her memorial service to share a story were a testament to that fact. Common threads wove their way through the shared memories.....her kindness, her goodness, her enthusiasm for life, her love.....and wine.

As a teacher for many years she touched young lives and helped to shape them in the most positive of ways. As a mother she raised strong, independent and loving children. As a wife she shared her life with a man who truly loved her.....and they absolutely enjoyed being together. Their life was a testament to what a good marriage looks like. Love, laughter, patience, not-too-much-irritation, more laughter, a sense of adventure, hugs, conversations and time shared together.

She was the best of grandmothers and relished every moment spent with the grandkids.....I know she created memories for all of them. She was a sister, an in-law, an aunt.....and a very special, special cousin.

Everyone gathered at her memorial service has a hole left in their hearts, an ache that will last for a long time.....but it will heal. The good memories will provide comfort....and for me, I will shed as many tears as I need to, but also smile when I "hear" her laughter and think of the words "Cousin Linnea!" spoken with a smile.

Over the past year my cousin and I had a lot of very interesting conversations.....about life, family, the beauty around us, spirituality, end-of-life concerns. We shared a few experiences where each of us felt a "touch" or a special "connection" to a loved one now gone.

So when we arrived at the farm on Saturday I got out of the car at the end of the driveway and let Dave proceed on up to the house. I took my box of Kleenex and walked "our" walk.....down to the crumbling cemetary at the end of the road and back. It's a quiet walk through the woods. One we had done together, with our dogs, many times. I cried as I walked and remembered our conversations. I watched for some kind of "sign". I was open to it....and hoped for it. We loved these walks....the chance to see some little bit of nature as the seasons changed. And the science teacher part of my cousin meant that she could point out all kinds of plants and insects that quietly lived in the woods. But there was no special sign from her to me.....so I walked slowly up to the farmhouse to join the family.

Later in the afternoon some family members were sitting around the fire pit overlooking the swimming pool and the pasture sloping down toward the Ohio River. Talking quietly, sharing stories, laughing.....patting each other on the back. This was one of my cousin's very favorite spots....especially when sharing it with family and friends.

Suddenly there was a butterfly flitting overhead.....bobbing and weaving around the group. Several people noticed it. But I'm not sure that anyone else realized the butterfly swooped down and settled, just for a moment, on the cold ash in the fire pit....and then flew away.

It caught my attention for sure. It wasn't a black swallowtail, it was a little smaller and a dark color. Some internet research gave me the answer.....the butterfly that came for a quick visit was a mourning cloak.

So I had my sign.....a quick, nature-centered touch from one heart to another. It helped.

Missing Blueberries.....

Nine times out of ten I have a bowl of cereal for breakfast. I love a bowl of Trader Joe's cranberry maple nut granola. And I slice up about a third of a banana, add some dried cranberries and finish with a handfull of blueberries on top.

But alas.....the stores are now not offering blueberries. Out of season I guess. I can find strawberries and blackberries....but it's just not the same.

I miss my blueberries....even when the cost went through the roof I would buy them.

Sigh.....not sure when they come back to the store shelves, but I am watching.....and waiting.

Anxiously.

How Do You Possibly Communicate.......

I realize Facebook is full of this stuff as we approach the November elections. And I admit that I read/watch some of the posts and I admit they are usually the ones with which I think I will agree.

But this one takes the cake. It's a man-on-the-street interview provided by The Daily Show.....so yes, I'm sure some of this is suspect just because of the source. And I realize that there were others interviewed, with more reasonable reactions and the show picked the most outrageous for the video. But their "reporter" visits a Trump gathering, stops several individuals and asks his questions.  The answers are amazing. The mini-interview that really caught my attention was done with a man in a baseball cap and t-shirt (similar to what Dave wears on an everyday basis but without the logos). So it wasn't the wardrobe that caught my attention.

It was the content of the man's comments....stated with all seriousness. I tried to copy down every word.....but may have missed a few. Basically he states: "Barack Obama had a big part in 911." The reporter asks how? "Not being around. Always on vacation. Never in the office." The reporter inquires, "Why do you think he wasn't in the office on 911?"

And the Trump supporter answers, "That I don't know. I'd like to get to the bottom of that."

End of interview....reporter walks away saying "Wow."

End of discussion. End of reality. How do you respond to that? How can you have an educated conversation or debate in response?

I know that many voters are very troubled by this election and the two major candidates. I get that. But I don't understand how the candidate with years of public service stretching back to her college days can be thrown under the bus by the Trump supporters. OK....don't like her, distrust her, hate her, frustrated by politics as usual...whatever. But how can an educated voter go into the booth and vote for Trump? You've voted Republican for years? Vote the rest of the ticket so that your team can block Presidential efforts for another four years. But please consider over and over before clicking the box next to The Donald's name.

I'd rather have an imperfect one-term-experienced person in the oval office than a hair-trigger-know-it-all who isn't really interested in anyone else's considered or educated opinion because he "knows better than everyone" what's wrong with his country and how to fix it.

Isn't democracy interesting.....this year more than usual.