A Casualty......

When we were beginning to explore condominiums in the Milwaukee area we drove up to Port Washington on a Saturday. We were intrigued by the small town feel and also the busy downtown. The store windows were mostly full....with very few shops empty. Port was close enough to Milwaukee and offered lakefront living in our price range. It didn't take much discussion to sell our house and bring us up from Bayview. We have so enjoyed our almost six years here. The marina offers seasonal sailboat activity that brings back happy memories. We can walk to the library or down town for a cup of coffee. We can also walk to neighborhood restaurants and the post office. There are lots of places to take Fenway for his multi-walks-per-day. Watching Lake Michigan never gets old.

As the COVID-19 virus hit the world, the United States and Wisconsin we wondered just how small businesses could survive. We saw the unemployment figures rise drastically. Our stores, restaurants, pubs, gift shops and all other non-essential vendors had "Closed" signs posted in their windows now, or "Open for Take Out" at our nearby eateries. We talked about how our down town main street would look after the return to a new "normal".

And then there was a notice on Facebook. One of the smaller restaurants, Baltica, announced they would be closing. After nine years they would no longer be a part of downtown. The food at this restaurant was delicious. It was a place I would take friends for lunch when they came up to visit. My photos don't do the building justice because it has friendly orange awnings out front that just seem cheerful.

                                  

We will have to say goodbye to Baltica.....and soon an empty storefront will occupy their space. How many more for Port Washington? How many more for America? How many more world wide.

The powerful and deadly COVID-19 will decide.

Life.....

Several years ago I met a woman who moved to Wisconsin from Iowa. She and I were just casual friends and saw each other at some Ozaukee County Newcomer functions. We would have smiling conversations once in awhile and slowly she shared some of her family story.

Her son, a young doctor, had gone through some very, very serious health challenges. He and his young wife met each one of the difficult hurdles after another with family and friends gathered around to support them. His story included three liver transplants and the complications and long recuperation periods after each operation.  The details were just so complex and hearing his story and knowing what it's like to be a mother (without a son or daughter facing such life-threatening ordeals) my heart would ache for her and for him and his wife. And I don't know the young couple at all.

One story that the young doctor shared on his own blog was a comment from one of his patients that he always remembered. From her hospital bed the woman said to him, "Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful." I wrote the sentence down on a little scrap of paper and stuck it on my desk.

As we all go through this new COVID life and wonder what the future will bring I remember the comment and now it means something to me too. "Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful." I thank my friend's son for sharing the quote and for facing our current world-wide-share-at-a-distance-life with such strength and courage. A toast to him, his wife, his family his friends.....and my family and friends.

"Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful."

Soft Start.....

Fenway and I walked out of the building at 6:30 this morning.....to a lovely, warmish, soft morning. It smelled like spring so maybe April really is going out like a lamb. We turned at the sidewalk and headed toward the lake.  The sun was already up and behind low clouds, but the lake was flat and the sky was lovely.

Crossing the street I began to hear music echoing from the waterfront. Two cars were parked in the lot behind our neighborhood restaurant and one had its window open. Ukelele music was drifting toward me. Not something you hear everyday! I couldn't catch any words until I got a bit closer, but the small musical sound was just so peaceful and perfect for this early morning stroll.

And then I caught the lyrics from the refrain and they are caught in my mind and I thought, "What a perfect song for my COVID morning walk."

"I wish you were here with me

I wish I was there with you

I love you.....I love you...."

Celebration......

Yesterday the youngest resident in our building celebrated her birthday. She turned five. The only reason we knew this was because her dad or grandmother posted a sign down in the lobby. They asked residents to come out onto their decks at noon to watch as firetrucks came by to mark the occasion....and they provided helium balloons for people to hold.  So I grabbed a red balloon and Dave and I went out onto the deck.  It was pretty cold and windy, but our little neighbor and her dad and grandmother were bundled up and using sidewalk chalk to decorate for the "party". We waved and grabbed Fenway so that the three of us could sing happy birthday to her. (Fenway does a great job with that song!) We couldn't see the decks on the front side of the building....but could hear other neighbors calling out birthday wishes and the little girl was waving up to all of us and seemed happy and surprised.  And then the firetrucks went by....honking their horns. They formed a noisy parade of at least three trucks an ambulance and maybe two other emergency vehicles.

The cold drove us back inside and I've been thinking about her birthday ever since, and remembering the birthdays we celebrated with our two when they were about the same age. The parties included some friends, ice cream and a cake with candles, presents to open and a few games. They were, for the time, pretty typical and fun events.

So I hope that our little neighbor had a good day....and that, if she even remembers it in years to come, she will think of her birthday in the time of COVID-19 as memorable. Maybe for not all the right reasons.....but for the neighbors who showed up to wish her well.

Celebrations in the time of COVID....again a whole new normal.

February 28th.....

Browsing backward through my little blog entries I find that I first mentioned COVID-19 about February 28th. I know we were hearing about it before that because we were enjoying a month in Greenville, SC and looking forward to a trip to Belgium in March. Talk of the virus was beginning to show up in the news. But then my sort-of-persistant cough got worse and after visiting a walk-in clinic in Greenville and then seeing a pulmonologist in Milwaukee we pulled the plug on our European adventure.

And we pulled the plug on the trip to DC with our son-in-law and one grandson, and we pulled the plug on the trip to the cancelled college graduation for our oldest grandson in Washington State, and we pulled the plug on the trip to Nashville for my reunion with college friends in May. Our busy calendar was suddenly completely empty.

And so we've been home, in our condo in Port Washington since February 27th. We are here, comfortable and fortunate. Our pantry remains stocked, we have plenty of toilet paper, we walk our dog along Lake Michigan's lakefront and wave to neighbors from a distance. We've seen our daughter  twice in the past six weeks and her family in their driveway once....at a distance. We talk to our son and his family near Seattle, we Zoom with friends to stay connected, we talk on the phone. We are lucky. I know that.

Tonight, once again watching the news and seeing so many families line up at food pantries that are running out of food, other families desperately waiting for their government check so they can pay the rent, listening to stories of families who have lost a loved one to this damn virus and applauding those who leave the hospital after weeks of treatment.

Looking for the hope....looking for the light at the end of this long tunnel....but feeling down. I want to be able to jump in the car and drive to West Bend and take the "kids" out for ice cream. I want to be able to go to book club without thinking twice, or to a local restaurant, or meet a friend for coffee, or go for a walk without veering off the sidewalk in order to stay a safe distance away from the couple coming toward me. I want to go to my monthly quilt guild meeting and begin to be involved on the Friends of the Library board.

I want....I want.....I want my old life. I want a safe future for my kids and grandkids.

I don't want this....but then, neither does anyone else.

Armchair Traveler.......

Day 39.....still married.

It's quite cold and windy in Port today....but the sun is shining and the blue sky boasts some puffy white clouds. Lake Michigan is sparkling outside our window and I've been watching five deer sitting in the sun on the hillside from our bedroom window. Dave is working on a puzzle and I've just finished 20 more face masks for a local group that has, so far, made and distributed over 5000. And now it's lunch time.

So we fill another day and remind ourselves, once again, just how fortunate we really are. One of the things we do is sit in front of the computer and watch a slide show of photographs taken on one of our travel adventures.  In the past few weeks we've been to Ireland, Paris, Alaska, Utah National Parks and Yellowstone. We've re-cruised from Boston to Montreal with friends. We've re-camped in Florida and up in Canada.

             

             

            

            

                            

The photographs bring back so many memories....and remind us that even if we never take one of these far-away trips ever again we've been just so lucky to see and do so much! And the fact that so many of these adventures were taken with good friends make them even more special.

Maybe tomorrow we'll go re-snorkeling in Akumal! And as I look at our slide shows and remember our adventures I think of the Dr. Seuss quote:  "You're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So...get on your way!"

Even if, you only go in your imagination.

I Love A Good Mystery......

I love left-overs. One of my most important in-the-kitchen plans is to cook extra chicken, or make a big pot of soup or whatever so that we can have a good dinner and then we can re-enjoy the meal without me having to spend any more time over the stove. This has been my mode of operation for years.

And the other part of this plan is that I never label my left-overs before putting them in the freezer. They go into a baggie or a plastic container and a few days/weeks/or a month later out they come and I wonder what we are having for dinner that night.

Sometimes I open the container and say "Yea....we have pork tenderloin medalions for dinner!" Other times I open a container and say "I think it's soup."

Anyone care to guess what's in these containers? I'm pretty sure the baggie has my tortellini soup....the rest? Who knows.

Boredom.....

Day 32. We wake up and think "Another 24 hours to fill." And I will fall into our new routine....walk Fenway and then give him his breakfast. Drink coffee and watch GMA. Shower if it's shower day. Dress and fix my hair as best I can. (I need a haircut!) And I spend time in the morning at my sewing machine either making baby quilts or home-made face masks. And I walk Fenway again and have lunch. And read a book and watch TV. And play cards with Dave and Banangram solitaire at the card table. And I call friends to chat. And then I fix dinner and after dinner we watch TV and go to bed about 9:00.

But yesterday was really different. I did something I literally haven't done in years! I baked cookies.

It's no secret that I really don't like time spent in the kitchen with meal prep....been there and done that for more than 50 years. I envy my friends who find the culinary arts to be just so very satisfying and creative. I have to follow an exact recipe and am not interested enough to try a whole lot of new things. So the last time I baked cookies was when Evan and Zach were pre-schoolers and came to stay overnight with us in Bay View. (Maybe 12-13 years ago!) I would buy the sleeve of ready-to-go chocolate chip cookies at the grocery store. The little guys would stand on chairs to reach the kitchen counter and carefully help cut the dough into slices and watch me pop the cookie sheet into the oven. Then they would "patiently" wait until the cookies came out, cooled just a bit and they could go run around the corner and offer their Pop Pop a warm cookie. We called them making "cold cookies". A fun memory for me.

Well we were out of any kind of sweet treat and I wasn't about to go to the grocery store just for than. Sooooo.....I made peanut butter cookies from scratch.

They are delicious. But on my next grocery run I'm buying an extra package of store bought cookies.

Changes.....

Today is Easter Sunday 2020, and it's a very unusual holiday. We are home alone and unable to spend time with anyone we love. COVID-19 changed our traditions.  Today I sit at the sewing machine creating home made PPE masks for area distribution and find myself thinking of Easters past.

While I was growing up Easter involved going to church at St. Luke's Lutheran Church in Park Ridge, Illinois, and then being with extended family for colored eggs, a delicious meal and the annual hunt for Easter baskets. My mom always created a beautiful Easter egg tree and it brightened the holiday. Raising our own two children we were on-and-off church goers but the day always meant an excited scramble looking for hidden chocolate bunnies and those colored eggs. And food.....and togetherness....and an Easter egg tree for the table.

This year Dave and I have already taken two walks, had an easy breakfast and now I sew while he watches TV. Later we will work on a puzzle and play cards and catch up with family on Facetime and by telephone. Our holiday decorations are minimal at best. My box of seasonal decorations never made it out of the closet and there is no tree.

Taped to our condo windows are a construction paper Easter egg and one of Dave's "famous" rabbit drawings. The newspaper said children might be looking for them as they walked around outside to do an Easter egg hunt.

We have no way of knowing if these "unique" decorations will brighten anyone's day, but they made us feel a little less alone just by taping them up. 

Stay home....stay safe....stay well....Easter 2020. I will always remember this year's "tradition" when I think of the annual celebration. Wishing everyone I know a good day, a day to reflect on what we've always taken for granted....and to never do that again.

Six Inches......

It is a blue sky day in Port Washington with a light wind. It's been beautiful to walk Fenway along the lake. Our calendar says its spring but for us, along the lakefront, it's still pre-spring. Our trees and bushes are all basically brown and grey. I haven't spotted a flower poking up anywhere while friends just west of us have crocus and other blooms popping. My friend in Maryland says her yard is full of flowers. I try not to be overly jealous.

Walking today I spotted these soon-to-be-leaves. The years we spent living in New Jersey and Delaware introduced us to springs that lasted four to six weeks.....it was a real season before the heat of summer. But here in Wisconsin spring is just a brief tease.

Tomorrow, Easter Sunday, the meteorologists say parts of Wisconsin might get over six inches of snow and Monday may boast wind gusts up to 50 mph.

Ah life in Wisconsin....spring comes on a Wednesday.....don't miss it.

Passing Time.....

What do you do when you can't do much? Day 25 of our mostly-stay-in-the-condo because of the COVID-19 pandemic. (Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would write the previous sentence.)

Dave and I were playing cards for awhile this afternoon with TV on the background. Ellen Degeneres was doing her show from home.....another adaptation because of our dystopian now. I said to him....in the future we will have a new meaning for the abbreviation "BC". This will no longer be a biblical reference, it will stand for Before COVID. We will use it when we talk about how life was before this virus swarmed the earth and changed everything for everyone.

We've tried to have a sort of routine and certainly I can't complain as we are comfortable in our condo overlooking Lake Michigan. We watch some TV, we have a puzzle going on the dining room table, I make baby quilts for area hospital NICUs, we walk the dog, we read, we play cards, we talk to friends, we clean house and empty drawers to reorganize them. Last night we even played Farkle on Zoom with friends who live in New Hampshire and it was fun!

And I make masks since we are now told to wear them when we are out in public. Not that they will really provide much, if any, protection but if we have the virus but no symptoms they may keep us from infecting others. So since I like to use my sewing machine and I do have quite a bit of fabric I make masks. I've made two for Dave and me, seven to send to my sister and her kids/families in Chicago, about a dozen for my condo neighbors and then I got a call from VITAS Hospice.

I worked at VITAS for about five years and retired in 2010. It was nice to hear from my boss and to catch up other than on Facebook. She was responding to an offer I'd made a few weeks ago and asking if I could make masks for their staff and some of the caregivers. Yes.

It's nice to feel you are doing something when you can't really do anything.

OK....and Another One.....

Two days in a row. Two examples of connections that continue long after death takes someone you love. I have a lot of nudges from the other side....small moments that bring me up short and make my heart swell and ache just a little. A memory that comforts and hurts.

Yesterday it was my plant and the memories it evoked. And my sister's odd experiences in Chicago. Today it was a smile from my mother-in-law. I've said it before....I lucked out in the mother-in-law department. Dave's mom was the best and she and I had a long and happy connection. She had a great sense of humor as evidenced by one silly Christmas gift from about 15 years ago. It was a spoon rest for the top of my stove made by a potter in New England.

A whimsical little piece and I smiled when I unwrapped it. But then my jaw dropped as mom explained that the potter uses road kill to create the designs. This was a little flattened frog found along the side of the street...pressed into the clay and now dancing with a cane in its hand. I love this little piece of kitchen decor and it is right on my stove and it reminds me of Dave's mom whenever I rest a spoon on the frog.

Today I took Fenway along the lakefront for our usual mid-morning do-your-business walk. Fenway stopped to sniff something very interesting along the sidewalk. I don't know what made me look down when I did but right at my feet was a "message".

I feel a bit sorry for the poor flattened thing.....but it did make me smile and remember and think to myself that this was another mother telling me we're all going to be OK. Once again....I appreciate the encouragement and I'll cherish the nudge.

A Gentle Nudge.....

Yesterday I watered my plant...my one plant. I have anything but a green thumb so I am very happy/proud that I've kept this wonderful greenery alive since June 2010. Every time I water it and when I think to wipe off the leaves I think of my mother. This plant was at her memorial gathering and I took it home to Bay View with me after the service. She now lives next to the sliding door that lead to our condo's small deck....and the spot seems to agree with her.

As I took care of my plant yesterday I snapped a quick picture and sent it off to my sister to show her that a little mom-memory still greets me everyday.

I got a quick response. My sister, Susan, is sheltering in place at her condo in Chicago. She's kept busy cleaning drawers and organizing and walking and working on some projects. She shared a moment from her day. After mom died Susan kept an antique music box....the kind that has the metal "records" that play when you wind the handle. The music box suddenly began to play yesterday....spontaneously. And, cleaning a drawer she found a plastic bag from mom's very favorite Swedish bakery in the Andersonville neighborhood where she grew up.

Susan's explanation was that she believes mom is watching out for us and telling us we're going to be OK. I like that.....mothering from afar. Heartstrings from heaven or wherever she is.....a gentle nudge for both of us. My plant spoke to me and the music box and plastic bag spoke to my sister. We hear love notes in some strange places.....but I'll take them....any time.

Trying Not To Go There.....

Day 20. Another green "x" on my calendar. I woke to a bright, sunshine day and that certainly helps my mood. The sky is blue....not a cloud in sight. It was almost warm when Fenway and I walked out the door at 7:00 for a quick walk. Lovely....a day to take multiple walks for sure.

Yesterday was the first time that our daughter went grocery shopping for us and drove over from her home in West Bend. She texted when she arrived and I went down to get the four bags from the lobby and bring them back up. I got to the lobby door as she was coming up the sidewalk and my eyes just flooded....I hadn't seen her in person for about three weeks. Just lots of phone calls and a few Facetime visits. And for some reason yesterday was an emotional day from the moment I opened my eyes. No specific reason.....I just felt raw.

After Dave and I wiped off the groceries that had to be refrigerated we put on our coats, put on Fenway's sweater and leash and went down to meet Meg on the sidewalk. Staying at least ten feet apart we walked around the water treatment facility along the lakefront and north to the now non-existent beach. (Lake Michigan's water level is so high that the swimming beach is just gone.) We walked slowly and talked.....really enjoying our stay-at-a-distance visit. As we parted I said to her "I'd give a million dollars to be able to hug you."

Later in the day I had a nice phone conversation with our son who lives in Burlington, Washington. It was a check-on-you call but good to hear his voice and know that he and the rest of the family are doing well. As Dave and I went to bed at 10:00 we were laughing about some April Fool's jokes we played on Todd when he was in grade school so we called him again and had a laughter filled quick talk. It was good to end the day with that chat with our son.

One son and one daughter. One lives thousands of miles away and the other one only 20 miles away but it might as well be thousands. My heart hurts.....I couldn't help but keep thinking "What if I never get to hug them again?" I know this was a thought brought on by the sort-of-collective-grief that is hitting everyone I know on different days for different reasons. A sadness that reflects the changes in our everyday lives. The unknown and the changing facts and advice. The news that this crisis could last for months.

A green "x" on my calendar as we start day 20.....some days will be pretty good, on others I know my thoughts will go down that black hole and I imagine the worst.

Missing that hug......

No Joke.....

Wouldn't it have been wonderful if we opened our eyes this morning turned on the morning news and heard every talking head say "April Fools!"

If only.......