Day 20. Another green "x" on my calendar. I woke to a bright, sunshine day and that certainly helps my mood. The sky is blue....not a cloud in sight. It was almost warm when Fenway and I walked out the door at 7:00 for a quick walk. Lovely....a day to take multiple walks for sure.
Yesterday was the first time that our daughter went grocery shopping for us and drove over from her home in West Bend. She texted when she arrived and I went down to get the four bags from the lobby and bring them back up. I got to the lobby door as she was coming up the sidewalk and my eyes just flooded....I hadn't seen her in person for about three weeks. Just lots of phone calls and a few Facetime visits. And for some reason yesterday was an emotional day from the moment I opened my eyes. No specific reason.....I just felt raw.
After Dave and I wiped off the groceries that had to be refrigerated we put on our coats, put on Fenway's sweater and leash and went down to meet Meg on the sidewalk. Staying at least ten feet apart we walked around the water treatment facility along the lakefront and north to the now non-existent beach. (Lake Michigan's water level is so high that the swimming beach is just gone.) We walked slowly and talked.....really enjoying our stay-at-a-distance visit. As we parted I said to her "I'd give a million dollars to be able to hug you."
Later in the day I had a nice phone conversation with our son who lives in Burlington, Washington. It was a check-on-you call but good to hear his voice and know that he and the rest of the family are doing well. As Dave and I went to bed at 10:00 we were laughing about some April Fool's jokes we played on Todd when he was in grade school so we called him again and had a laughter filled quick talk. It was good to end the day with that chat with our son.
One son and one daughter. One lives thousands of miles away and the other one only 20 miles away but it might as well be thousands. My heart hurts.....I couldn't help but keep thinking "What if I never get to hug them again?" I know this was a thought brought on by the sort-of-collective-grief that is hitting everyone I know on different days for different reasons. A sadness that reflects the changes in our everyday lives. The unknown and the changing facts and advice. The news that this crisis could last for months.
A green "x" on my calendar as we start day 20.....some days will be pretty good, on others I know my thoughts will go down that black hole and I imagine the worst.
Missing that hug......
You are blessed...
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