February 28th.....

Browsing backward through my little blog entries I find that I first mentioned COVID-19 about February 28th. I know we were hearing about it before that because we were enjoying a month in Greenville, SC and looking forward to a trip to Belgium in March. Talk of the virus was beginning to show up in the news. But then my sort-of-persistant cough got worse and after visiting a walk-in clinic in Greenville and then seeing a pulmonologist in Milwaukee we pulled the plug on our European adventure.

And we pulled the plug on the trip to DC with our son-in-law and one grandson, and we pulled the plug on the trip to the cancelled college graduation for our oldest grandson in Washington State, and we pulled the plug on the trip to Nashville for my reunion with college friends in May. Our busy calendar was suddenly completely empty.

And so we've been home, in our condo in Port Washington since February 27th. We are here, comfortable and fortunate. Our pantry remains stocked, we have plenty of toilet paper, we walk our dog along Lake Michigan's lakefront and wave to neighbors from a distance. We've seen our daughter  twice in the past six weeks and her family in their driveway once....at a distance. We talk to our son and his family near Seattle, we Zoom with friends to stay connected, we talk on the phone. We are lucky. I know that.

Tonight, once again watching the news and seeing so many families line up at food pantries that are running out of food, other families desperately waiting for their government check so they can pay the rent, listening to stories of families who have lost a loved one to this damn virus and applauding those who leave the hospital after weeks of treatment.

Looking for the hope....looking for the light at the end of this long tunnel....but feeling down. I want to be able to jump in the car and drive to West Bend and take the "kids" out for ice cream. I want to be able to go to book club without thinking twice, or to a local restaurant, or meet a friend for coffee, or go for a walk without veering off the sidewalk in order to stay a safe distance away from the couple coming toward me. I want to go to my monthly quilt guild meeting and begin to be involved on the Friends of the Library board.

I want....I want.....I want my old life. I want a safe future for my kids and grandkids.

I don't want this....but then, neither does anyone else.